From: Brenda
Subject: Dear Auntie Dote

I have a question about whether or not sleeping with a guy on the "first date" or the first night out with him is a bad thing.

I met a guy through friends. We'd been out as a group a couple of times before. The last time, we went out dancing and he and I ended up getting hot and heavy on the dance floor... as it turned out we ended up going back to his place in the morning and having the wildest sex imaginable. I think it was pretty fantastic for him too. He asked for my number, but I have friends saying it's unlikely he will call because I slept with him right away.

The question is, if a woman has sex with a man on the first date, does that mean he won't pursue anything on the relationship side? It seems kind of dumb to me, I mean if you find out you really click sexually and had fun that evening going out, why wouldn't you want to see if there is something more...? A bunch of my guypals say that they won't consider a relationship with someone who slept with them right away... what kind of double-standard is that? Is it the thrill of the chase? I don't want to have to play headgames, but I have people telling me I have to pretend I'm not TOO interested, and play it cool to hook a guy. That just seems fucked up to me....Are there any guys out there that aren't into these kinds of mind games? The way I see it, why spend weeks or months "getting to know" someone, just to find out you aren't compatible in bed at all? (What was it one of the rants said? "I've held bigger bic lighters in my hand").

-Sexy and Confused in the City