Dear Auntie Dote,

 

I have experienced emotional manipulation first hand, didn't know what it was until I read your eight ways to spot it. The only problem is, I didn't recognize it till I married her. Emotional manipulators are bad, either male of female. Yes, I am male and I read all of your articles, thanks for your honesty and insight. Now what do I do??

 

Thank you,

 

Dave

 

Dave, the thing about self-help that people seem to miss is the SELF part.  You see, this is where you HELP YOURSELF.  The first step on the path to victimhood is avoiding responsibility for solving your own problems. Bravo, you figured out something is wrong, but the  truth of the matter is that you got into the relationship, only you can decide what to do now that you are there, and whether or not to stay.     I mean, we could steal a line from Dan Savage and say Dump The Mother Fucker Already, but would that really help?  You married the woman, now you have to decide if it’s worth working on the relationship or whether it’s time to get the hell out.  We certainly can’t provide advice on that front based on 5 sentences from you.  There are plenty of resources out there for you to locate that will help you to deal with abusers/manipulators (DrIrene.com is a good one). Grow a spine Dave and get therapy if you still can’t figure out how to make decisions in your life.