Despite our best efforts to dissuade you, many of you have still decided to write to us with your problems, complaints and crises of the moment. We don't have a trained therapist on staff, and this isn't "Dear F*ckin' Abbey", but we DO have Bonnie, who has graciously volunteered her time and heartless perspectives in order to minister to (or macerate) the misguided, with "Dear Fuckin' Bon..."

May 6, 2001

Dear Fuckin' Bon...

First of all, your little statement: Women who assume that simply because another woman poses nude, is a stripper, or works in the sex industry, that she is somehow automatically unintelligent or less deserving of respect than others.

(First of all, the first half of her letter was genuinely in blue, and the second half, well, it wasn't. This girl is rusting out her chastity belt with dripping and foaming indignation, and I heartily commend whoever DID write that piece, wherever it is on the site....)

Phew. Hi Jessica, old girl, how the hell are you today? I hate to inform you of this, since it does demonstrate that you haven't gone through the site very thoroughly, but I didn't write that. Or do you think I'm some kind of catch-all wastebasket for HBI, and you can channel through me to anyone whose work has been cited or quoted? Alas, as much fun as that would be, I couldn't even find that particular bit even after much diligent searching. I vaguely remember seeing it myself and particularly looked in the puke files, but couldn't find it. Pity.

I most definetly do not respect people who are exposing their whole entire body to the pubic... I mean you tell me how you can respect that.

I respect anyone who has a choice, chooses their preference, and does what they want to do without coercion. The relatively small percentage of nekkid people doing nekkid things who aren't doing from a desperate need of some kind DO have my respect. The ones who are doing it out of desperate need have my compassion. What's your problem? Are you much too precious and "high-class" (or rigid and puritanical) to see what life is like?

I also DEFINITELY respect those who spell correctly or make the effort to use a dictionary, spellchecker, or other reference.

If a guy sees some girl posed nude in some magazine and lets just say ironically sees her at the same restaurant, do you think this guy is going to treat her with genuine respect and kindness by not going up to her and grabbing her butt and trying to feel her up,I mean knowing that she would be stupid and idiotic enough to expose her whole body on a magazine? HOW YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF IS HOW YOU ARE GOING TO BE TREATED. Now, if a girl was wearing a nice button uped sweater & nice fitting jeans...do you think a guy would respect her for that?

Now, Jessica, which "same restaurant" would that be? I can only guess that you're talking about your boyfriend or date seeing a nude pinup at the SAME restaurant he's taken you to. I further guess that he showed her more respect and kindness (or at least attention) than he showed you, and probably not because her sweater was "button uped".

You just keep your nice button-up sweater on over your peter pan collar. (though I can't imagine what you would think of as "nice fitting" jeans. I'm sure you have detailed specifications though.)

As for whether a random guy would respect any given woman, I kinda reckon it would depend on whether the GUY was respectful to others in general, ya think? I think that respectful *people* are respectful to anyone who crosses their path, at least until such time as they those others do something that warrants otherwise.

You have heard of personal responsibility, haven't you?

Absolutely....how you dress is how you are going to be treated and thats the honest truth. Exposing your body like that is like an invitation for guys! Guys aren't that dumb you know... I mean I gotta

There's where you're missing the boat, baby. YOU are the one who thinks guys are that dumb, that their tongues and eyeballs and hands fall out and start crawling (yes, all of the previous) toward any woman in any state of dress or undress. Myself, I've known some very interesting and lively and sensual and kind men who are actually more interested in the woman herself and what makes her tick, or made her choose to do what she does or why she likes what she likes.

If the man (men?) you associate lose their faculties whenever they see a woman who isn't covered up to her chin and down to her ankles, then my official advice to you is to find a man with more faculties. You may have to hone your own before you are interesting to one of them, though, most have certain standards, doncha know.

admit that most of them only want some from you and treat girls like animals, like their lower than them or something. Anyhow, have you ever heard of the saying "Give no respect, get no respect" Well maybe you should think about that

(Hear that, fellow HBs? Maybe I should think about that. *inside joke*) Maybe you should stop objectifying both sexes yourself and get a bit of a grip on blaming other women for what men do.

bon *sweet smile*