Despite our best efforts to dissuade you, many of you have still decided to write to us with your problems, complaints and crises of the moment. We don't have a trained therapist on staff, and this isn't "Dear F*ckin' Abbey", but we DO have Bonnie, who has graciously volunteered her time and heartless perspectives in order to minister to (or macerate) the misguided, with "Dear Fuckin' Bon..."

September 16, 2001

Hey there sloppy tits, Now Bon Bon, are you that frustrated that you need a site full of your femist bullshit?

Another wild-eyed moron who thinks we're all the same person writes to the Supreme Bitch and then addresses me.… I'm really not sure whose tits he's trying to address. This neanderthal probably tries to talk to any in the same room with him.

Listen sister, the whole bra burning, 70's retro bullshit is so fucken cliche. I mean, if your man left you for a hotter, brainless bimbo then tough shit.

(Just wanted to pause here a moment to reflect on the possibility... Nah.)

ITs about time you moved on there princess and found a new avenue, stop blaming your father, he can't hurt you now. Sure, i like low iqs, and big tits, and a tight ass, but don't hate me because i am shallow.

You aren't really enough of anything to "hate" but if I could muster up enthusiasm of any kind, it wouldn't be because you're shallow but because you're a hair-trigger misogynist assimilated into a malfunctioning cliche-machine. Well, and you're just such a troll.

Maybe if you did your job as a bitch, and stoped acting like a dizzy bitch, then you might get more cock. Put some makeup on, show your leggs, and do positions we men like in the sack, laugh at my jokes like a 2 dollar whore. I mean seriously doll face, this whole para military, tough females, with bigger cocks then the men routine is played out, and you lost.

We lost? We didn't write to *your* website moaning about your point of view. (hint: we don't even care about your point of view). Sounds to me like you're the one still itching for a fight. It's too bad you're too lame to bother with. If you look around the site more (and I'm sure you have/will) you'll find that every last one of your stereotypes has been used to death by other weenies like you, and all you guys are just posturing at one another. We stopped briefly for a laugh, but you all sound so much alike, we hardly notice you unless you're in our mailbox, and you aren't even interesting enough to differentiate. Just another weenie-dweeb. Go to the Rants page, you'll find your brothers and a few sisters there.

Take that strap on off, and stop acting like a muff licker on crack.

(Moment of silence so that we can all get a firm mental image of THAT)

This is all for your benefit, and i am only trying to help a nieve little missy find her path back to being a subbmissive lady. Follow these three things and you shall succeed. Be my bitch when i want sex, my cook when i am hungry, my maid when dirty, and mute unless pointed at to speak. i hope this has helped you away from your path of destruction and short hair cuts.

sincerely,
Your best friend, hail to the king baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yadda yadda yadda. *yawn and scritching my ear*
bon