Linda is her own source of Self Validation
Thank you for "Things that make us want to HURL!" - it's the most concise list I've ever
read & I agree with every single entry.
It's ironic how "unheartless" the statements made on HB's home page are, at least in my mind.
They're merely statements, opinions and burdens. Isn't funny how a female's called "heartless"
when the female doesn't compare to the typical female mold. Pathetic! This is why I'm a
Heartless Bitch, I guess. I've been told all my life to lighten up on issues or keep my
mouth closed ("an expressive mouth belongs on a male") because an opened female mouth will
be seen as unlady-like.
I'm sick of the excuses that nationality or age dictate the way a woman either acts or is
treated by peers, family members, society and the business world. I'm also a Heartless
Bitch because I feel I'm turning on my fellow females - the ones who believe that a man is
their ticket to self-esteem, validation, or seen as a provider of comforts or needed for
pure survival (whether by stripping in front of one for money or marrying one in order
to stop the uncomfortable challenges that go along with independence).
One of my many frustrations deals with men & blatant expressions of well, lust
(i.e. the head turns, the whistles, the stares, the gutsy approaches and the sizing up or
evaluations of the "juicey piece of female meat" in the vicinity. I'm not suggesting that
I'm the victim of such attention, but I witness it everyday and want to somehow express
my anger to ears that more-or-less understand & are hopefully frustrated by the same.
I doubt that lusty attention is ever paid to me, as I do my best to dress as a-sexual
as possible, especially for business. I wish to be evaluated for my knowledge and hard
work rather than how closely I get to the latest fashion trend in suits featured in an
issue of "Glamour" magazine.
I recently spotted a men's magazine titled "Barely Legal" in a 7-11 store, while buying
cream for my morning coffee (it was 7AM!). It was exposed, rather than hidden behind those
protective guards that are now required to hide the cover, but still allow a peek-a-boo
shot of the titles & features. Of course it was surrounded by the typical "soft porn"
smut (i.e. "Playboy", "Penthouse", "Hustler") and surprisingly enough there was a
"Playgirl" tucked way, way in the back. On the same day I witnessed two men staring at a
young girl standing at a deli counter. She was doing her best to be seductive by pushing
out her breasts and scanning the room with her big eyes hoping to catch someone - anyone -
looking at her. The "guys" were talking in dog language. You know, when buddies use
what they think are secret key words to express how they feel without letting others
know their true desires (i.e. I knew of a group of males who would use "pooper" as a term
for an attractive female butt).
I won't expand the length of this email by expressing my thoughts on strippers, girlie shows,
Asian hostess bars, prostitution - when used for leverage as part of the good old boys'
network when trying to establish potential clients or when "sealing the deal". I also
won't share my ideas on women participating in pornography. This is a tricky area because
there so many "varieties" (female-oriented", etc.), but I am still dismayed at the shots
of females who look & sound like they're in agony when bent over in front of some grunting,
groaning male. Also, what is it about men wanting to watch female lovers?
Is female homosexuality yet another female topic men don't take seriously?
Not that anyone needs them to.
Side Note: I would really like to know how the members of "Heartless Bitches" view female
strip clubs, hostess bars, etc.
I'm not enraged by these seemingly male-oriented institutions AS MUCH as by ordinary women
and their weak, wimpy, men-dependent ways & their "have to's" regarding their men. The
"want to's" are more freeing, but nevertheless are the sources reliable? Do we really
WANT to devote 10-hour days to our jobs then come home to exhausting domestic
responsibilities? Yes, I enjoy cleaning but by no means do I HAVE to do it. In the
same regard, my husband enjoys cooking, but doesn't HAVE to either. We bring our two
passions together to equal one well-fed tidy household of two.
I was recently in the kitchen at a gathering with my husband. To be useful we both started
to help with washing the dishes. I was shocked when my husband's dishes were taken from
his hands & he was physically pushed out of the kitchen, by an elder female, because kitchen
chores are a woman's job. We both promptly left the kitchen to regroup outside and each
enjoyed a well deserved cigar!
I'm beginning to view the female gender as two separate groups - those who care about what
men think & those who don't. My background is normal & you might say lucky (i.e. I've
never been raped or molested) - your typical 5'1" girl who has been called "cute" (gag)
all of her life & tried to be until I discovered I had a brain & a mind - imagine that!
Then I was called a short little angry bitch who was in need of antidepressants,
PMS-relieving aides or therapy for being so selfish & self-centered! I've noticed some
women won't fully acknowledge your new promotion as they will your recent weight gain/loss
or hair style. And men become tongue-tied & confused at the mere mention!
How about being accused of being angry because of your past (that's the point of having a
past - any past - it's how we grow)? Then how do you explain my anger when I've
experienced only a few encounters that are considered inappropriate, work in an all
female department consisting of professionals who are known for their mastery & knowledge
of their fields industry-wide and come from a mother & father who successfully instilled
in me that everyone is equal - everyone in every category: race, gender (although my
father seemed to be more of a man hater in this area), sexual preference and physically
as well.
Is it confusion more than anger? Am I the only one who feels this?
Read about more "Real Life Heartless Bitches"
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