Set your ingredients out on the counter . 200 people working in a building. Precisely 10 of them women. Add to the mix the fact that 7 of these ladies are kickass, out-and-out, no-bones-about-it lesbians, (and you are not) and that they all labor away for a very big, exceptionally whiteboy software company.

While you're stirring this concoction vigorously, add a few more tidbits to the batter. You do not have a technical job in this co. of machine worshipers. Trolls coast in and out of your cubicle all day, drooling down their Magick: the Gathering T-shirts and asking you if you want to go to Gameworks sometime, or maybe get together and count the dividends from their stocks. Your philosophy degree is rotting on the back shelf of your moldy closet while you spend a great deal of time filling out e-forms and eating microwaved popcorn.

Now add these ingredients and set the beater on "high.". A guy comes into your office more frequently than the other bit-heads. He seems nice, you are professional, and he does not treat you like an autistic 3 year old on valium. You talk to him occasionally , and in the course of one conversation, he asks you out. You politely say no. A day or so later, he comes back and asks you out again. Once more you politely refuse. He sends you email, asking you to dinner--to discuss a possible job in his group. You begin to feel annoyed and mail him back tersely. The next time he sees you, he suggests if you were "nicer" the outcome might be "profitable" for all concerned. You talk to your female friend who is also a temporary non- technical employee, and she mentions that this guy has done the same thing to her - for months. You are losing your temper, your piece of mind, and what little patience you have for suffering fools gladly, when egghead sends you another piece of mail, asking you to go away for the weekend with him - and to come in and interview for a job the Monday you two get back.

Set the oven on "Slow Boil" You lose it. You reply to Clueless (using much better grammar and spelling than he's exhibited) and say that his behavior is inappropriate and tell him about the journal you've been keeping describing his conduct- complete with times and dates . You give a brief run down of these incidents, mention that you know he's done this to other women, and tell him to leave you alone Then (after running spell check, of course ) you cc your letter to the other women he's been harassing, your manager, his manager, his manager's manager, and couple dozen other people you think might be interested in knowing the details of this case. You also decide to start using that "Heartless Bitches" graphic for your computer's desktop, and make a nice bumper sticker out of it for your car on the laser printer.

Shit-for-brains disappears from the floor. Your relieved friend takes you out to lunch. That friendly HR lady calls you in for a long chat, and gives you lots of info on applying for web development jobs once she finds out you've been studying html and visual basic in your spare time. The trolls grumble a little when you walk down the hallway, but stay the hell away from your cube and stop referring to you as "Scenery" every time you go to the printer. You dust off your degree and put it on your boards-n-bricks bookshelf, open the oven and reveal, nicely done to perfection - one Heartless Bitch. Enjoy!

PS - In my mind, the above response to this situation is merely common sense of the most remedial kind, but, in our culture, defending your self relegates you to Full Fledged Heartless Bitch status in most men (and women's) eyes.

Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches