So, I was thinking over romantic comedies, trying to discover why they exist because I just can't fathom a universe where the kind of saccharine, whiny crap these mindless characters spout out actually makes sense, and I started reading some fan fiction. And then I figured it out. There are these chicks in the universe who, for some reason, define themselves by the idiot they happen to be sharing rent with. And they really, honestly believe that they are the best thing that ever happened to this asshat and can change him. And then I felt a little ill, and I started to wonder if I was the only one who would knock a fucker out if he started exhibiting the stalker-like behavior that drips off these romantic comedies like a string of dog saliva when there's a steak around. And then I found you. You... are sane. Marry me. Though I think that's still illegal.

Country: United States

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