Jill
I'm a Heartless Bitch because I like myself. I realized that in
the company of insecure women, this is enough to make you a pariah of
sorts.
Background:
My whole life I've been victimized and shot down by insecure people who
have made me feel like there's something wrong with me because of the way I
look/act/talk. After 20+ years of apologizing, I am now able to finally
not only deal with but accept the fact that I am a beautiful woman. My own
sister has hated me her whole life because she went from being seen as the
precious only child to my less-attractive older sister.
If you think I'm just being catty and narcissistic, pretend for a moment
that you are a little kid once again and people everywhere just stare at you,
relatives and strangers alike. You don't think "wow I must be a good
looking kid," you think "why does everyone keep looking at me? Is there
something wrong with me?" I spent my whole life hiding in my basement
engrossed in video games because my view of the outside world was that everyone
had it out for me. I spent hours every morning before school trying to
make myself look like everybody else. My typical outfit would be a pair of
baggy yoga pants, a loose fitting long sleeved shirt (even in summer), and a
ponytail. I quit the soccer team halfway through freshman year of high
school because a) I hated having to wear shorts and b) other girls literally
threw rocks at me. I spent my after school hours hanging out with other
people who were ostracized for the way they looked.
Today:
After years of therapy and encouraging from my close-knit group of (mostly
male) friends, I've become more confident now than I've ever been. What
apparently makes me a Heartless Bitch is that I have no sympathy for weak-minded
insecure people who twist what they say so that even if they like something
about you, it still comes out sounding like an insult. Instead of saying
"Hey I really like those pants on you," they'll launch into a never-ending sob
story about how they run 3 miles a day and yet they still can't fit into size 4
jeans. Even more appalling than this is the fact that I've
made enemies because apparently the logic is that I'm withholding some brilliant
workout routine. Here's a clue: I don't obsess about my own weight, and I
care even less about how much you weigh. I'm not a health freak and I
don't give a shit if you weight 20 or 200 lbs. Shut the fuck up and
eat.
I'm sick of whiny Bitches hating me for no reason, so instead of wasting my
time trying to make friends I've decided to give them a reason to hate me.
Hate me because on that one day you found a pimple on my face, you actually
walked right up to my face and said "wow your skin looks like SHIT today" to
which I replied "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of your pores
choking under 3 layers of foundation." Hate me because on the day you got
a haircut, I didn't notice and I didn't give a shit. I cared even less
when you told me about it. Hate me because when you tell me about all the
guys you sleep with, I am less envious of all the attention you're getting and
more sympathetic towards your clueless boyfriend.
In short, I'm a Heartless Bitch because I've earned that title. I now
walk with my head held high in clothes that I look good in. I realized
it's not a mortal sin to want to look good, because every insecure girl out
there tries a thousand times harder than I do anyway. I'm a Heartless
Bitch because I accept no apologies (especially not those of the "I'm sorry,
but..." nature) and take no prisoners. I tell it like it is because after
years of hiding, I now see it as it is.
I'm a Heartless Bitch because I have no love for the millions of women who
get a quick high off of kicking another woman down. I'm a Heartless Bitch
because I love my gender and will not tolerate insecure idiots to allow this
enduring culture of competing against other women for some invisible prize of
unconditional public envy to continue.
I'm a Heartless Bitch not because I hate you, but because after 22 years, I
finally don't give a shit about you or your petty insecurities.
Country: United States
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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