Heather
I used to be spineless and a yes-woman. I'd keep topics
non-confrontational, avoid talking about politics, religion or even science if
it meant a potential argument. Then something happened that changed my
life forever. Even though it was horrible, it helped shape me into who I
am today. I was raped. For a while it brought me to the lowest form
of "womanhood" I could get. I felt insecure, unsafe, and worthless.
BUT, the way I pulled myself out of depression, anxiety and the whole "post
trauma" thing made me realize how strong I COULD be. I went from agreeing
with whatever someone said to challenging anything I thought was wrong. I
no longer apologize for being me, a woman, an artist or a human being. If
someone I am seeing thinks I should lose weight (or do my hair differently,
clean more...), I no longer diet and stress myself out. I will explain how
I am happy with who I am, and if they aren't, then they aren't right for
me.
For example, one "nice guy" who started talking to me because I'm
attractive, cultured and a pretty interesting painter, went on a rant about
their ex-girlfriend. Apparently he was dumped for someone else
and was on the whole "Girls just don't date nice guys, I'll never have someone
to spend my life with...blah blah" routine. Anyway, that was a big
turn-off for me. I figured he was still having major issues and was still
CLINGING like a spineless leech to his ex-girlfriend's memory so I gave him a
few parting words before severing contact (I don't need pseudo-acquaintances who
will drag me down).
"She obviously didn't care about you, why should you care so much about
someone who obviously moved on, and let "the Bitch who left me for someone else"
ruin your chances with someone who might actually give a shit about
you?"
The old Heather would have still talked to a potential date in the hopes
they might grow to like me without thinking of their ex, but the new Heather
just doesn't have time to train another man. I know I am happier alone
than with someone who is an emotional drain on me.
Country: United States
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