Ivie
I will give you three Bitch-related issues, which summarize how I
feel.
I will start with what does not bother me or piss me off:
1. I am not bothered by the characterization of women as Bitches when they
are opinionated and self-secure. I am usually the best student in most classes,
I argue and debate all the time. Many guys and girls find it really
intimidating, but also wish they had my personality and ability to be
out-spoken. I am never toning myself down in order to fit the average. If I have
something to say I say it.
But I am not overcompensating either by trying to be louder, because that
would mean that I feel insecure about not being 'opinionated' enough. I just
follow my feelings, my interests, and I like expressing myself, which brings
about jealousy. However, the dynamic of calling women Bitches in work or school
does not bother me, because I does not get to me at all. It is all about
attitude. If you are so good at something, you have to deal with it.
Now, the two Bitch-related issues that do piss me off:
2. I live in a neighborhood where women get harassed on the street all the
time. Apparently women don't reply aggressively enough and the creepy guys
continue doing the same thing - offensive comments, uninvited remarks, etc. I
just say: Get the hell away from here, or I don't want to talk, or Go away, I'll
call the police. I raise my voice and scream at them publicly if they don't go
away. It has happened that I say: Get the f... away from here, you idiot, and
the guy actually starts following me. I find this so annoying and sexist - like
what we say or do has no importance. When I say: get the hell away from here, I
mean it. I sat down to eat a peach pastry at a bench today and all of a sudden a
creep comes and starts making sounds asking me if it's tasty. I want my space
and I don't want to be harassed, so I am a complete Bitch. Last Sunday there
was a parade. We were dancing in the rain with friends. All of a sudden a stupid
guy grabs my ass and runs away. I ran after him screaming at him and was going
to hit him. What annoys me so much is exactly that he was NOT expecting it. I
have been told that very few girls react aggressively to such behavior. I wonder
if he tried this again on another girl that night - probably not ...
3. My final point.
What pisses me off about the whole Bitchy-ness issue in the context of a
relationship or dating is the fact that no matter what men say, they like
Bitches. So, putting aside the whole thing about defending myself from creeps in
clubs and on the street, I want to be myself without the guy losing interest. I
realize (and other friends also do) that once I become nice (and I don't mean
sappy but just humanely and normally nice) the guy is pulling back. I completely
understand the dynamic. But it is so counter-intuitive and goes against any
reciprocity principles.
Also, I don't think that all women who go through relationship problems are
just whining. There are whiners - true, but all people just need an advice
sometimes, and want to share.
But what does piss me off is when I give advice (Don't meet him right after
you arrive on a Sunday at 11:30pm, get some sleep, go to work on Monday and may
be see him after.) and the girl does the complete opposite. After this kind of
idiocy, do not keep calling me three times a day asking me what to do
and why things went wrong.
So, the main message from my three points is that one simply should be in
control and be one's own boss. And be very happy - that is the point of it
all - it is not anger, it is happiness.
Country: Switzerland
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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