Phoenix
I am a Heartless Bitch because I am confident, assertive, opinionated, intelligent and determined.
After numerous failed relationships, I quickly realized what the problem was...it was me. My relationships were failing because I had adopted the meek, clingy, whiny, "damsel in distress" model that is so idealized in Western culture. I realized I had no idea who I was, what I liked, and that I was just using guys to validate my own existence. I also acknowledged that this way of thinking was utterly pathetic.
I took a year hiatus from all dating and concentrated on developing MYSELF as a human being. I learned to take care of everything I needed, provide for my household (i.e. my dog Lilith and me). I pursued my own interests, took vacations to where I wanted to go, moved to a city I wanted to live in, read book I wanted to read, and formed my own opinion and life view. I built up my confidence, took care of myself and SLOWLY began to wade back into the dating pool again.
Since then I have noticed my relationships (friendships and romantic endeavors) have improved dramatically. I am no longer a doormat. If somebody asks too much of me, I tell them I am unable to do it. If a guy tries to manipulate me, or if I am unhappy in a relationship, I end it. I realize what I want, and I am no longer content playing the "suffering martyr" for anyone.
Country: United States
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