More Real-Life Heartless Bitches
(For the week of February 3, 1998)
Vicky - "I have the body of a 23-year-old cheerleader...it's buried in my backyard!"
Lea - "I'm not insensitive, I just don't give a crap."
Linda - "Whatever Linda wants, Linda gets."
Erika - "No, I haven't met Mr. Right, but I have met Mr. Crude, Mr. Conceited, and Mr. Cocky, and they aren't exactly in circulation anymore."
Carolyn - "Just because you have a dick, what makes you think you know anything about cars?"
Lauren - "If I want any lip offa you, I'll scrape it off of my zipper."
Alison - ""The average woman would rather be more beautiful than intelligent because the average man can see better than he can think." -- But, of course, there are those of us who refuse to be average ..."
Sabrina - "It takes more than one finger to make me come."
Christine - "You can say what you like, but NO means NO! Take a hike and use your hot air to BLOW!!!!!!!"
Terry - "Sit on a happy face!"
Tamsyn - "When I find I'm scraping the barrel, I shoot the goddamn barrel."
Alan - "I've suffered too much and too long to be a martyr."
Maryann - "The only truly happy people are the ones who make their own happiness."
Kelli - "Bitchy is as Bitchy does."
Rhea - "I don't care why you didn't do what I told you to do. I want obedience, not lame excuses!"
Leslie - "Radical Pacifist No More"
Carson - "Honey, if you think you're going anywhere with me, try a LLAMA!"
Tanya - "The next man who uses the sorry line "So what's your sign?" will be flipped an emphatic bird."
Amanda - "That ice-cream machine is a man! It said it was giving me Butterfinger Blast and it gave me vanilla!"
Sheila - "Yeah...I will bend over for ya!...Just long enough for you to Kiss My Ass!"
Johanna - "A woman invented the wheel. No man would admit anything was too heavy."
Freyja - "I don't hate men, just assholes in general."
Satu - "Paree paha kuin pateettinen."
Tisa - "I hate when people talk while I'm interrupting."
Lisa - "Yap... these balls are mine... I paid for em!"
Marika - "It's not so much that I'd like to rule the world, it's just that I'd like to keep it in the fridge and take a slice of it whenever I'm hungry."
Paula - "Of the top 10 reasons to use birth control, you are numbers 1-9!"
Cynthia - "Look do I have a sign on my forehead that says I am here for you? I don't think so."
Rochelle - "I am too young to be this jaded but too old to be that easily impressed."
Chris - "Want to play a game, get a toy; want me, get a life!"
Jayne - "And there he was, reigning supreme at Number Two."
Jessica - "The goddess made me womyn, choice made me a BITCH....any question?"
Laureen - "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity."
Sonia - "I'm not a CONTROL FREAK - I just want it all NOW!"
Patty - "Hillary, wake up, be a real bitch and get rid of the scum."
Jill - "To be nobody but yourself in a world doing its best to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human can ever fight and never stop fighting." -e.e. cummings
Kimberly - "Sometimes, being a bitch is the only thing a woman has to hold on to."
Heather - "Shut up, grow up and, by all means, leave me out of it!"
Marty - "Do unto them , Before they do unto you THEN SPLIT"
Laurie - "Fasten your seat belts fellas, it's gonna be a bumpy ride."
Peggy - "If I wasn't such a bitch I would have let my husband's first wife have him. Now it's my turn to make his life a living hell."
Ruth - "Frank Sinatra got a gold record for singing "My Way" - I just want to get through by living My Way!"
Leah - "Get out of my face and back under your rock!"
Jo - "I'd love to go back to your place, but I doubt both of us would fit under a rock."
Tricia - "What's that? I'm a bitch? WELL FUCK OFF!!!"
Glenda - "You'd look real good with my foot up your ass!"
Aislinn - "If you got a problem with me, call 1-800-UP-YOURS"
Patricia - "You must be walking backwards 'cause all I can see is an asshole!!!"
Rose - "You don't WANT me to go over there!"
Jessica - "You can pet my dog, but leave my pussy alone."
Michelle - "Great...this affects me how?"
Michelle - "If any one calls you a Heartless Bitch just say "Thank you. I try. Is nice to be appreciated for the good job I'm doing.""
Mo - "No man is an isthmus..."
Ame - "Was that your hair I stepped on while climbing the corporate ladder or did a Flow-Bee just explode on top of your neck?"
Katey - "Bitch (bich) n. 1) A female dog. 2) A spiteful woman. (And my own personal definition:) 3) A woman who knows what she wants and defies society to get it."
Marilyn - "No, this seat isn't taken...so why don't you take it somewhere else to sit in it!"
Samantha - "Peace is the answer until you fuck with me. Then I will be more than happy to resort to violence."
Katie - "The problem with society, is that the government lets all of the men run around like free human beings!"
Trishy - "Was that all?"
Yes! I want to Read about more "Real Life Heartless Bitches"
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