I was the only one who laughed (loudly)while watching "Titanic". I was glad to see Leo's acting ability drown long before the character he played did.

"Precious Moments" figurines make me want to grab a sledge hammer.

Kathie Lee Gifford and Dr. Laura make me want to puke.

Cutesy emails and cutesy maternity clothes also make me want to puke. Is it really necessary to have the word "Baby" followed by a downward pointing arrow on a shirt worn by someone with a 47" waist? So THAT'S what's in there...durrrr

When waiting in a long line, someone invariably wanders up and asks "Is this the end of the line?" to which I reply, "No, it's the beginning. We're all facing back- wards."

I want to kill my husband when:
I take the dog out in a downpour and when I come back in he looks up from his book and says, "Oh..is it raining?"

Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches

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