I would not have described myself as a Heartless Bitch once. Indeed, I
felt I was compassionate, kind, fair, good, honest, honorable,
courageous, even the dreaded "nice". However, I am considered by my
critics to be hard, opinionated, ballsy, blunt, cold, and even cruel. It
was a shock to me.
Eventually I learned that to many "compassionate"
means tearful, sappy, easily manipulated emotionally.
I found that "kind" meant putting up with unacceptable behavior without
objection...smiling sweetly in the face of attacks and insults, that
self-defense was not considered "kind". I learned that being judgmental
is unkind--a negative, rather than being considered an appropriate use
of our intellectual capacity to make judgments. I found that being
"fair" meant giving in rather than being disinterested and objective and
making decisions based on the merits of the case (or the person). I was
shocked to find that "good" meant tame, domesticated, calm, quiet,
still, patient and often religious (preferably the bible-quoting
variety.) Both "Honest" and "Honorable" became "monogamous" (or
virginal, or celibate) as applied to women. We apparently are not
considered capable of anything greater than keeping our legs crossed.
Courageous is applied all to often to our capacity to suffer rather than
our capacity to take risks, face danger, survive, struggle, fight,
create, dream, try and triumph.
So, as it turns out, I am none of those things after all. Not in the
conventional sense. I walk powerfully, loudly, proudly, boldly through
the world. I refuse to hide my truth, stifle my voice or bow to
another's authority. I struggle to be whole, to be strong, to live
completely, and it often offends people. It can be messy what with the
sweat, the blood, the tears, and the cum. But hey, what else can a grrl
do?
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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