I'm a Heartless Bitch because I have had it UP. TO.
HERE with the other 90% of humanity that I am forced to
while away my time on this tired old planet with. They are stupid,
inconsistent, incapable of logical thought, desperate to blame their
problems on someone else, and unwilling to implement any meaningful
change in their lives that might improve things for themselves or
ANYONE else.
I'm a evidently a Heartless Bitch because I do not want to get
married and have kids. At all. Sorry, but I am concerned with the
rest of the planet enough to not want to crap it up further by
adding to the six billion of us already on her like a giant melanoma.
Besides, I can't stand the little snotmongers and have no desire to
turn into a "Wifey." Men know this, that's why they're so anxious to knock
up new wives. They know that a woman's tolerance level for male bullshit
skyrockets once she's tied down by a few tit-leeches.
Oh, does that mean I'm SELFISH? Because I give a flying fuck about
other species instead of just a very limited number of members of my
own who happened to shoot out from between my thighs?! What a
GODDAMED SHAME! "Motherhood makes you selfless," my bald pink ass.
Motherhood makes you willing to flush the entire world down the
shit-chute so you and preciously little Hunter-Dylan and his sister
Katelynn-Dakota can go to soccer practice in a fat, polluting, SUV
after you filled landfills with the disposable diapers you swore up and
down you wouldn't use.
I'm also apparently a Heartless Bitch because, despite being bisexual,
I do NOT find YOU attractive Mr. Beer-breath-in-my-face-at-the-party
and will not do a goddamned threesome with you and your pathetic piss-ass
girlfriend who is so much of a doormat that she's willing to do whatever
to keep your sorry ass from walking out on her. And if she's NOT like
that, and she IS halfway interesting -- well, we might make one another very
happy, but we won't be inviting you along, shitbag.
I'm a Heartless Bitch because I take sexism seriously and do not treat
it like some cutesy parlor game where the guys make shitty woman-hating
comments with smirks on their faces and then act like it's all fun and
games. You make remarks like that and you are going DOWN, motherfucker.
I ain't your goddamned bubbleheaded bimbo girlfriend who'll roll the fuck
over and let you win the argument. I'll take your worthless ass OUT.
Oh, I forgot. I'm also a Heartless Bitch because I'm thin and hit
society's definition of pretty through absolutely no doing of my own.
Of course, this is only made worse by the fact that I haven't ever been
pregnant and hence have a flat stomach and tits that look like they
did in high school. Despite being disabled and losing my father to the
same disability that I inherited, I Can't Possibly Understand What It's
Like because I can buy a pair of jeans that fit and haven't joined
Jenny Goddamned Craig!
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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