Zrinka
"I am not a feminist," is a line that I hate, coming from the mouth of
my "gender-compatriates", i.e. other women. I am always surprised when
they say it, especially when it is done with some kind of pride, or even
contempt toward the last word uttered in that sentence. A FEMINIST! Good
God--how do you survive even saying it? There are variations, though. In
a discussion, a woman would say something like: "I'm not trying to
promote any kind of that feminist crap here." or "Not that I am some
kind of feminist, but..." Really? You are not? Why do you vote, then?
Sometimes, when I am in particularly good or bad mood, I would subject
that kind of women to a peculiar form of questioning, which always
confuses them, for it does not deal with stereotypes, but tries to get
some meaning out of their claims. It usually sounds something like this:
I: "So, you are not a feminist, are you?"
SHE: "NO! God forbid, NO!"
I: "You mean, you don't think women should have equal social rights and opportunities as men?"
SHE: "Of course I think they should."
I: "You do? But, then, you must think that they should not use them, and
that they should, despite the theoretical equality, express their
femininity in traditional manner; by staying home, raising children and
just taking care of their family, even if it is not what they wanted out
of life?"
SHE: "Of course not. I don't mean that."
I: "So, you must be opposed to abortion. You must think that it is not
only murder, but also a criminal act of terminating the performance of
woman's natural, primal and paramount function, to which nothing may be
prioritized?"
SHE: "What are you talking about? That shit is not a part of my opinion!"
I: "Well, then you must think that there are jobs and social
functions/roles that are inherently "male" or "female" and that they
should not be mixed, as a rule?"
SHE: "What is wrong with you? I did not say that?"
I: "Do you think that women should vote?"
SHE: "Of course I do!"
I: "Do you think that woman's primal value and criterion by which she
should be appreciated in society is her looks, natural reproduction and
charm?"
SHE: "Of course I don't!"
I: "Do you think a woman has a right to do whatever she wants with her
body, that is: have sex or not have sex with whomever she chooses, have
babies or not have babies with whomever she chooses or whenever she
chooses?"
SHE: "Of course I do."
I: "Do you think that a woman's role in relation to a man is the one of
pleasing and/or obeying?"
SHE: "Of course I don't."
I: "So, by which standards aren't you a feminist?"
SHE: "Well...errr...I don't hate men and...I DO shave my legs!"
Nice one. REALLY a beautiful one. You go, girl! That's the way of
understanding the world around you. Identifying feminism with hatred of
men and shaving of legs. That is *exactly* what the whole movement was
about.
I am. I mean, a feminist. And, guess what, I also do shave my legs (I
even - ohmigod! - put curlers on my hair from time to time!) and I am
pretty fond of men, apart from assholes (but, as I have read on these
pages, and experienced in life, that is a not a gender-specific
concept). I don't run around with proverbial vasectomy scissors, looking
for a victim with apparatus on which they can be use, and I do not yell:
"Let's all have abortions just for the fun of it!"
You see, I have a brain and it does not hurt me to use it more than just
for the awareness of light and dark, and I tend not to form my own
opinions just based on public opinion polls or, even worse, on
stereotypes. Yes, I know it is easier that way. But, let me borrow one
of the stereotypes, just for explanation: "Easier is not always better,"
not to mention correct or true.
What amazes me the most is the fact that the truth is really much
simpler than these "non-feminists" see it, and it sometimes baffles me
how come it is so lost on them. It is very clear. Feminism is the belief
that women have equal social rights as men. It is basically pure
humanism, based on human rights and not on "hate thy neighbour"
philosophy. Feminism does NOT say: "Hate all men!" it says: "Don't let
people oppress you on the basis of your gender." Yes, it also means some
kind of social solidarity, but that is optional. The essence is in
social equality. It does NOT mean that EVERYONE should behave in the
same manner, and that all women are alike and that all of them should
want to be executives and chase all men out of their CEO chairs or
whatever.
Finally, there are those who argue: "I don't need to be a feminist! I
can fight my way to my rights myself. I am a free woman!" I am always
amused with that kind of claim. Very interesting logic. You are a free
woman, yet you can FIGHT your way to your rights. If you have to fight
for your rights, then you are not free. Furthermore, if there was no
feminist movement, these women who claim that they can "fight their way
to their rights," would not have any rights to fight their way to.
Contrary to the popular belief, feminist movement did not start in the
seventies and did not just result in the right to "not shave your legs."
You are already reaping the benefits of the movement you are so casually
dismissing: you vote, you work, you have property other than your
husband's etc. If you want to fight on your own, and you are dismissing
any possibility of being a feminist, why don't you start where the
feminism started, and why don't you dismiss all the benefits it has
brought you?
It is not like you don't need any feminism today. Look around yourself,
and a bit further from your backyard (let's say - Afghanistan, for
example), and you will see that the oppression of women is not a myth.
If you don't feel like burdening your pretty little head with anything
more distant than your backyard, look inside your head and see if there
is anything in it that still DOES keep women in relatively worse
position.
If there is a thought in that head that says, "I am not a feminist," and
justifies it with the idea that feminism means "not shaving your legs"
and "hating men," then, by God, we need feminism more than ever because
with women like that, men suddenly seem like a minor problem.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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