Quis
Heartless Bitch? ...that's often how a lot of people - male and female - tend to label
a woman who has taken control of her own life and refuses to adjust it for the
ease and comfort of others.
Frankly, I don't believe I actually am one but if that's how others wish to
define me, c'est la vie. They're entitled to their uninformed
opinions.
I'm in my forties, now single, independent, employed and lead a largely
quiet life though it's certainly not uninteresting. I work hard at making it
interesting for myself, since it's really only me who needs to be kept
amused.
From what I've read so far, I share similar views and attitudes with quite
a few of the members. I'd enjoy discussing them further.
I'm not particularly interested in hearing about the love-lives of other
women. I don't find it 'sweet' and 'romantic' to hear how they subserviate their
own interests to those of their boyfriends/fiancés, just to keep them happy. I
laugh quietly to myself when they assure their audience that things will change
once the rings are exchanged, and that their future husbands will soon be
manipulated into exactly the kind of man they wanted in the first
place.
I don't want to hear about the wedding plans and the furnishing of their
kitchens and bedrooms, nor about how much they're looking forward to married
life. I've been there. I endured it. I left. Sorry, I was bored. It's just not
all it's cut up to be but they won't believe it of course.
I refuse to see the romantic side of their pregnancies, to gush over the
cute little baby-clothes, and to join in the discussion of intended names.
That's alright, because they don't want to hear about the sleepless nights, the
constant grizzling, the endless repetitive work, the feelings of never having a
moment to yourself, and - most of all - the probable feelings of inadequacy and
guilt because motherhood didn't turn out the way it does on TV. I've been there,
but what would I know?
I don't get all clucky and gushy when they produce their newborns and
toddlers to show off. I don't like little children at all. I had only one and
stopped right there, once I'd realised how much myth masks the reality of
motherhood. It's such hard work. I look at those children and the gritted-teeth
smiles of their mothers and simply wonder how much their significant others
contribute. But naturally, not liking children is tantamount to admitting I was
a terrible mother. I'll ask my poor daughter about this next time we meet for
lunch - after we've discussed our respective careers, how studying for her
second degree is progressing, whether her boyfriend of four years is still
hinting broadly at the possibility of moving into her apartment - you know, the
sort of dull things that single, independent women discuss.
I'm sure a few people who think they know me have labeled me a 'Heartless
Bitch' - and no doubt a cold, lonely, frustrated, desperate one as well - but
what would they know since my private life stays private and is really none of
their business? They wouldn't know of my penchant for good books, scented baths
and long hearty conversations with friends. And they certainly wouldn't know
that I spend a lot of my time perfecting my writing skills in the hope that one
day - fantasy alert! - I might produce the one book that allows me to give them
all a gleeful middle finger and leave them all to wallow in their mediocrity.
Try attempting to do that with a demanding partner and kids! My time, money and
attention are entirely my own and I spend them all on myself. I earned them so I
deserve them.
Many people have concluded that I'm a man-hater. Not true. Amongst that lot
out there are some truly wonderful, intelligent, funny, loveable and kind
blokes. Unfortunately, they're incredibly rare and usually already taken, but
it's nice just being friends with them. I detest it when their partners feel
threatened by this but, once again, c'est la vie. I beg for no company. I manage
quite well with my own.
If I sound arrogant, opinionated, selfish and egocentric, then I've
probably over-stated my case a little, but I retract nothing. I've been called
much worse and it doesn't worry me a bit.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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