(Updated: Nov 27th, 2003)
A Compendium of hurl-worthy comments and experiences from the
readers of Heartless Bitches International
People who baby-talk to their animals.
Couples who baby-talk to each other, IN FRONT of other people, and believe everyone else will think it is as
cute and endearing as they do.
Nauseatingly co-dependent couples who are all over each other every moment they are together,
and who have to spend 15 minutes saying stupid things like "Don't go, I'll be lost without
you" because the other person has to go to the bathroom for 5 minutes.... These are the same people who play stupid
"no, YOU hang up first" phone games and blather on about how much they MISSED the other person because the
didn't see them for a couple of hours.
Women who feel that their one and only topic
of conversation should consist of every revolting facet of their childrens lives and
in particular, their shitting habits. GET OVER IT! WE'LL CALL YOU IF WE'RE INTERESTED!
People who slag you under the guise of providing "advice" (unsolicited), and when called on it, try to insinuate that you
are the one at fault for being unable to handle "constructive criticism". I know the difference between solicited input and verbal abuse,
and 'll tell you which orifice you can insert that "constructive crtiticism" into!
People who snap their fingers with the expectation that the waitress will stop what their doing to serve them.
People who think that it's their right to know all the details about someone's disabilities.
Someone that thinks you'd be impressed by all of the famous people they know - and talks about them endlessly.
People who ridicule someone that uses public transportation.
Creating two "Joe Millionaire's" and no "Jane Millionaire"
People who claim to hate Social Drama, but are actually creating and feeding it
by talking a bunch of sh*t about other people. Shut up and don't associate with
people if you hate them so much.
Fat, balding middle-aged men with personals ads that state they are looking for "slim, attractive, athletic" women in their early 20's.
First off, what makes you think YOU have anything to offer? And secondly, why not just
write "I'm looking for someone who is too young to have any REAL expectations of me, and won't have enough experience to know what
a terrible lover I am." ?? Oh that's right, because HONESTY and self-awareness isn't in your profile.
Anyone who is looking for someone else to "complete" them. What, are you missing an arm or something?
The phrase (from a guy) "It's JUST cramps", (often accompanied by eye-rolling and a "what's your problem?" look). Tell you what, I'll kick you in the nuts and while you are rolling on the floor,
I'll say "It's JUST a little bump."
Men (and Women) who are purportedly up for "just a good time" and a roll in the hay, but then have
to go on and on about their divorce, their ex, their baggage, their future, ad nauseum. This was just supposed to be
a fun fuck for both of us.
The phrase "I don't know what I want" used as a cop-out instead of just having the guts to say "No Thanks."
People who say "I hate you" because you have some feature they do not (curly hair, long hair, tall, etc...), and think it is a compliment.
Women who purposely dress revealing to show off their bodies and at the same time call themselves victims of cat calls.
Passive-aggressive behavior of any kind.
Women who cry "sexism" at every opportunity, but then act in a racist
manner and see nothing wrong with it. In fact, ANY member of a perceived
"oppressed minority" that commits acts of oppression and racism against
another marginalized group.
People who assume that unpopularity in high school somehow qualifies them to be
tortured poets/musicians.
People who cry about how nobody will see past their physical flaws to their
"inner beauty", but refuse to go out with people they don't find physically
attractive because they're "not their type".
People who find out I think something is wrong/stupid, promptly tell me that
*they* do it, then get pissed off when I don't immediately change my opinion -
or say, "Oh, I didn't mean YOU!"
Women who work in a male-dominated profession and make everyone, particularly
the men, aware of the fact. You'll get idiots who'll have a problem & you'll
have to fight them, but stop making it an issue every sodding day with people
who couldn't care less what gender you are.
The term "judgmental" used as abuse. "How dare you be so judgmental?" just
means "how dare you openly disagree with me?" Nobody ever gets called
judgmental when they agree. Why do people get so hysterical about not judging
anyway? If we don't judge, how can we ever assess or hold an opinion? Just
judge for God's sake! It's not as though you can't change your mind on new
evidence.
People whose respect for my ongoing PhD vanishes the moment they discover it's
in the Arts.
The man at Heathrow who loudly demanded the stewardesses double check the
passports of the Middle Eastern family in the queue.
People who have lifestyle gurus and feng shui experts, and all kinds of
absolute crap because they have far too much money and no fucking common sense!
Men who think buying me a drink (or ten or 100 drinks) means I am obligated
to fuck them. I am worth more than the price of a drink, if I want to fuck
them, it is my choice, not because I think I 'owe' anything.
Men/Women who, when they hear a man has been cheating on his wife/girlfriend/s.o.,
say "well if she was taking care of him at home, he wouldn't be out looking
for it elsewhere would he?" As if it is HER fault he is a jerk and cheating
on her? (the reverse stands as well).
Anyone who says "it's all your fault I drink/drug/screw around or whatever."
Hello! You were doing this before and will continue to do so after the
relationship unless wake up and smell the responsibility factor.
And the people who buy into this guilt tripping, non accepting of responsibility
BULLSHIT. (oh, I am just so powerful, he drinks because of me)
Women who say 'I am so glad I am not single and having to worry about dating
anymore.' Like being single is some sort of disease!
Being told 'You really should color that hair of yours' (I have 'lots'
of gray)
Men who get upset when I say I don't 'need' them, nor do I believe in 'happily
ever after' because relationships take work, hard work, lots of work. They
don't just 'happen.'
People who don't believe me when I say I LIKE sleeping alone. (this has
nothing to do with not having sex)
Guys who call me arrogant, cold, frigid, or any other 'demeaning' word because
I know my own mind, am very matter of fact about it and not 'turned on'
by their games (i.e. cannot be manipulated).
Being told (usually by a guy) 'I only pick on you because I like/love you,
if I didn't care I wouldn't tease you.' Most of these 'teasings' are thinly
veiled insults and control measures.
Being told 'you look like a nice Catholic girl.' What does that mean Exactly?!?!
Not that is matters, but I am not Catholic, I am so much of a freethinker,
I don't even call myself a freethinker.
Listening to a grown man tell an 18 year old boy he "shouldn't give up 'love'
for an education", Please! How is he to support himself? 'Love' comes and
goes but an education is forever.
Being asked, after I moved to take a new (very good) job, 'why did you decide
on such a major move at your age?' (I was 38) Uh, to take the job, idiot.
People who think my life has no meaning or direction because I don't believe
in 'God'
People who think I am strange because I own an economy car.
Being told 'you are really strange/weird' because I think outside of the
box, ie I think period, and don't let others tell me what to think, I research
it myself.
People trying to make be _what_ They think I should be.
Men who think that I must be ready for sex because THEY have a hardon. Oh, yeah, baby, right here!
Women who don't want their partners going down on them because "it's
nasty." Are you nasty "down there"? For Goddess sake, haven't you heard
of SOAP & WATER? Good grief. Grow up & WASH up!
Men with whom I have had sexual relationships & then assume I want to
hear alllll about their former fucklife. Why? Are they doing a magazine
article on Who's Who of Greatest Fucks? I do not have them back for
repeat offenses. I guess someone else down the line gets to hear about
MY antics.
People who believe that EQUAL rights are SPECIAL rights. If you didn't
earn it, you don't deserve it.
People who assume that because I'm white, I am part of the "problem" of
racism. And who also assume that because I'm white, my family had a big
plantation in the south & owned slaves. GET A LIFE. READ. EDUCATE
yourself. Ever heard of indentured servants, the great Irish Potato
famine, or anything else besides slavery in the south?
Men who have no social skills and then whine "I never get any girlfriends!"
Well, perhaps if you stopped talking for 15 minutes, learned how to
interact with people instead of computers and video games, and actually
listened to a woman when she speaks instead of ignoring her or talking over
her, you'd have a relationship!
People of both sexes who ridicule people who let their significant others
run their lives, and then get involved with someone who does just that- run
their life.
Women whose entire sense of self-worth comes from their cup size.Then they
get boob jobs and say, "I did it for MYSELF" and regret it because it
wasn't 'what they expected' and they get treated 'like a bimbo.' Well, if
what you expected was for every man in the world to fall at your feet then
you are a blithering idiot. And duh if people figure you got a boob job --
they'll think you are a superficial type, to whom looks are the most
important thing.
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