HEARTLESS HINTS FOR THE HOPEFUL
(or, Rules that Should Only be Broken by AlphaBitches)
by , BitchBouncer Deluxe
- Don't tell us you've got attitude, prove it. (But use your 'tude wisely - don't point it at the hand that bitches.)
- If you're going to use profanity, FUCKING SPELL IT OUT - the name of the site is Heartless BITCHES, not Heartless B****ES.
- Don't quote someone else in your one-liner.
- Writing about how you're consistently in bad relationships and situations does little, except cause us to wonder how you got there.
- If your application is all about how you've been mistreated by men, you're missing the point.
- If your URL leads us to a webpage filled only with sappy poetry, muzak midi, and flower-framed pictures of your beloveds, we're going to suspect you of schizophrenia at best, or far worse, insincerity.
- Telling us you're intelligent while simultaneously sending a misspelled, logic-free application also creates an insurmountable paradox.
- If you really feel it necessary to mention PMS, be sure that what you have to say is startlingly original.
- Some no-brainer style tips:
- DON'T YELL AT US.
- Also! Exclamation points! Are best!! Used SPARINGLY!!!
- Avoid ... ellipses overuse ... All it does ... is create ... a false sense of suspense ...
- Look twice at your verbs. Do they agree with the subject and with other clauses you've introduced?
- Beware of the "Heatless" and "Hearless" typos.
Finally, when in doubt about your bitch status, don't bother. We're about commendation, not validation. (There's this little thing called SAMOTURE ...)
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