Heartless Bitches Welcomes
The Return of The Attitudinal Anal-Retentive Editrix from Hell
(Fear Her)
Before we treat you to Tavia's delights, we must first introduce
you to the latest Dweeb, who comes to us, frothingly, (as usual),
from the bowels of AOL. ("Bob, I'll take Door Number 1.")
From: MonkeyGut@AOL.COM
To: nataliep@heartless-bitches.com
Subject: Me thinks the lady doth protest too much
Are you people for real? I accidentally stumbled onto this page while
trying to get intellectually stimulating material...instead I found what
appears to be a group of seriously mentally flawed women with the resulting
equivalence of intellectual toxic waste. It appears from your abrasive rants,
that you are as insecure as the men and women you belittle. How else to
explain an entire web page devoted to trashing the male sex and the women who
love them? Is it a lack of physical beauty? Perhaps a horrible past
experience with males? Or dare I say a weak sexual drive? I can only surmise
there is indeed some underlying foundation for your hostility.
Yes, I have been described as brutally handsome, but this fact has not
compromised my life or its work. In fact I sometimes feel embarassed of my
looks. I have a PHD in psychology from Columbia and consider myself quite
intelligent, thank-you. Your "himbo" rhetoric is lacking in thought and reaks
of stereotypical feminist banter. This same logic, when applied to females of
great beauty, is also flawed.
Instead of ranting and raving and behaving like spoiled children who
dont get their way, you people need to exert yourselves in a more positive
manner. Yes, bitch is an applicable name indeed....spend less time bitching
and more time striving to improve conditions for the female sex would much
further your cuase ( if their really is one).
Yours,
Dr. Paul Casey
P.S Please respond..I am curious as to what the feminist hordes of male
bashers have to say toward a good looking intelligent male.
Natalie Responds Tersely. Too tersely, in fact,
to waste space with it here.
MonkeyBut makes a half-assed attempt at recovery, thinking he's safe... So I disabuse him of that notion.
From: nataliep@heartless-bitches.com
To: MonkeyGut@AOL.COM
Subject: Me thinks the lady doth protest too much
>Ok, you got me. Glad to see this wasnt some sort of
>broad male bashing conspiracy.
If I didn't have evidence that your IQ wasn't up to it, I'd almost
think you made that incredibly bad pun intentionally....
>I can rest easier now.
Nah. You just THINK you can... You see, it's pretty clear that you are
just a wet-behind-the-ears pup who THINKS he could masquerade as a Ph.D.,
(what a -pathetic- attempt at self-aggrandizement) but
a) you can't even spell it correctly, b) Your grammar wouldn't get
you past my highschool literature teacher (which says a great deal
about the state of American education today), and c) you STILL don't
know the difference between "there", "they're" and "their". Given
that you have no ability to read beyond the superficial, (which neatly
matches your personality), I'm sure you have a stunning
career awaiting you in some suitable field such as selling cars, or working
in the hospitality industry. You won't even have to SPELL "Would you like
fries with that?"
You can, however, rest easy in the knowledge that women who
identify as Heartless Bitches are quite happy to leave you
to the vacuous women that occupy your wet dreams... (though we
suspect that is as close as you'll get to them)
We'll just continue to laugh at you... if we bother to notice
you at all.
heartlessly,
-Natalie
MonkeyNuts Gets his Shorts in a Knot
From: MonkeyGut@AOL.COM
To: nataliep@heartless-bitches.com
Subject: Me thinks the lady doth protest too much
Being grammatically correct in a quickly typed e-mailed memo is not a
neccessity, dear. For christ sake, do you honestly believe Poe, Whitman,
Hemingway, or Faulkner never committed a grammatical error? Thats why editors
have jobs, putz.
As for resorting to juvenile put downs: I now see the purpose of your
cute make believe organization is simply to piss off men everywhere with
silly insults. Get a life you twisted dork! The sophmoric humor employed is
so lame it makes wall watching seem like a fascinating hobby by contrast. I
dont know if you truly hate men or not, but I suspect you havent had a good
romp in the sack for lets say......ever?.....What self respecting guy would
subject his penis to such torture anyway?.....Indeed. Masturbating with
sandpaper would probably give more pleasure.
As for your "smarter than thou" attitude, I instantly saw a strange
image while reading your message. It was the picture of a fat sow ,whose head
had become so enlarged with internal pressure, that it blistered with
protruding veins and large boils. Suddenly it explodes, and guess what?
Nothing came out. Stick to remedial classes, sweetheart.
Yours most disrespectfully,
Paul
And now. . . The moment you've all been waiting for . . .
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