And Still more comments from and about Nice Guys...
From: "David" <sabin_b77@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 31 Jul 2003
Greetings
I just followed a link from a friend's journal to the "nice guys" article. I must say, I had a rather wonderful laugh at a lot of it. Although, other parts pointed out things I need to work on. I can't say I've found anything I disagree with so far. I was wondering, though, about the title that "you" have chosen for the site. I interpreted it as a satire of that which misogynists mislabel all women. I am, however, curious as to other interpretations.
Anyway, I am quite convinced that I will be returning to the site often - whether for personal developement, or to help me better understand the psychology of people (women, and men). And, yes... wow.
Now, I must apologize for anything I've said that might offend you. I mean, I don't exactly want to piss you off - you're heartless bitches, for crying out loud! ;-) Keep up the wonderful work... not that you wouldn't anyway.
Carpe lumen intus noctem
David
aka §abin
P.S. If I could have correspondance with a heartless bitch, whether AIM or email, I'd absolutely love the opportunity to discuss and/or debate (civilly, of course) ideas, in most any areas.
From: "Ian Migala" <imm68@msn.com>
Subject: Have you seen THIS Nice Guy site?
Date: Thu, 31 Jul 2003
I'm a recovered Nice Guy, and I love your site! It's poignant and
oh-so-true. Thank you so much for putting it up!
Unless I've missed it on your site, have you seen this one?
http://niceguy.dearingfilm.com/. I couldn't read it all without wanting
to yarp. Oh my GOD it's pathetic. It's endless "Women don't like Nice
Guys and I wish they did!" No wonder, after reading that!
My own quick little comment...(most) women do appreciate nice guys, just
not Nice Guys (capital N capital G); there's more to it than just plain
being nice. A spine certainly helps. A sense of humor. A brain. Some
standards. Just to name a few. I have to admit, in my past I've had a
few women like me who were...nice. But nothing else about them really
grabbed me. They were Nice Gals. Imagine how it struck me when I
realized that I couldn't remember their NAMES. God bless them, but they
were forgettable. Just like Nice Guys.
One other thing...this guy talks as though the distaff side of the gene
pool owes him for being Nice. That's not nice; that's emotional
blackmail. There's really a lot of darkness in the depths of the Nice
Guy.
(I've suddenly started thinking of the film Misery. Connection?)
This has got me to thinking about a rebuttal site to his. We'll see...
-Ian
From: David Gasten <davidgasten@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, 12 Jul 2003
Subject: If nice guys finish last - I'm leaving early
Dear Supreme Bitch:
Wanted to let you know that I enjoyed your site. A
friend of mine had it in her "Cool Links" in her
Yahoo! profile. I especially enjoyed the "Nice Guys"
section; it's all true! In the past, when I've heard
guys talking about how women don't want nice guys,
only jerks, I've often thought, "Well, I'm a nice guy
["kind" guy according to one of your articles] and I
have no problem meeting and making friends with
ladies, so what's your problem?" The "What Is
Misogyny?" article is very well researched and really
cuts to the heart of the issue; some of the links in
that article were downright scary! Wonderful,
wonderful cumulative exposé of what is REALLY going on
in the minds of the so-called "nice guys"; I will
recommend that link to next person I hear pull that
line. Sock it to 'em!
One thing I might suggest is a slightly more clarified
organization scheme, but I guess the other side of
that is that you never know when little surprise might
pop up! (e.g. the "PO'ed Prick" and the "Puffed-up
Princess" pages--I was thinking about submitting an
obnoxious one of each for laughs with a "nice site"
note in the "comments" section.)
Also I'd love to know if you plan to publish this
letter on your site; I may actually enjoy a little
public embarassment!
Can I go into the "psychward" file, please, please?
JUST KIDDING!; do whatever you want. Have a lovely day and again keep up the great
work!
--David Gasten
From: "Spoon" <spoon11@cox.net>
Subject: Glad I found your site.
Date: Mon, 7 Jul 2003
I'm a 21 year old male and I've been following your site for just over a
year now, and I think it (and you people) kicks ass. Your site has
helped me make myself into a better person, and a better partner. As a
former borderline "nice guy", I'm so thrilled to have found your site,
and I wanted to express my gratitude for all the time and effort that
you have spent educating others on such important subjects, most of
which are so difficult to teach. I've had a couple of female friends who
were stuck in emotionally abusive relationships. Your site was
instrumental in educating and empowering them to take action and better
their lives. I wish that every guy and girl would read your site, and I
especially wish that more people would "get it" once they had. So keep
up the great work, you truly do make a difference in a lot of people's
lives.
Ryan Witherspoon
From: "Al DV" <am112@hotmail.com>
Subject: My two cents
Date: Thu, 03 Jul 2003
Hi ranters and others.
I've been in the hole for the past year and a half because of a really bad encouter with a woman.
I got hurt and humiliated beyond what my ego can accept and I'm trying to deal with it the best I can.
I am a nice guy!
I am in late twenties and had very little exposure to women and haven't really been that intimate.
I was clueless as to what to do when I fell in love with this woman.
Never the less she abused me and took me down to the bottom. I said
nothing. So it's my fault. OK.
Now, I'm not a nice guy, per se, like what you call wimps, wussies and so forth.
Your article "Nice guys we can do without" really did insult my intelligence so I decided to give you my two cents worth.
I have been described a "cool" guy and since I can remember and I was in
the "in" crowd since I can remember, too. As a matter of fact my few
buddies and I ran the "in" club. We owned it.
I am nice in a way that I will put out my hand first for a hand shake.
I will let a driver through even though I should probably be the one going through.
I will offer my help to anyone if I have the ability and/or the expertise to help.
I seem to have a tendency to defend the weak and I used bully the bullies in school.
So nobody really messed with us when we were kids.
Today, as an adult, I seem to have the ability to get instant respect.
When I talk, people listen and remember.
I lead and people react to me.
I fear only myself.
When I see people mollesting, abusing and terrorising others, especially
somebody that can't defend themself, I tend to rub their face in their
ass. If you know what I mean.
I take immense pleasure in humilliating such people.
I really enjoyed bragging for a moment.
Anyway...
Dealing with women is a skill that we learn and obtain like any other skill.
I have been blessed with many other talents and obtained many skills but not this one.
I've read and found that I made a lot of mistakes with this woman simply because of my inexperience.
I never really thought I should be learning about this. I thought it something we all have naturally.
And I do have a lot of it but some crucial things have escaped me for a long time.
Now you seem to have this skill.
It would be fun to see what other skills you are worthy at.
I find people that insult others have very few skills.
My advice to you is this.
When you see a guy who is really trying to find a woman to be with and he is miserably failing, help him.
Offer him advice and guidance.
Don't sit behind a screen and a keyboard and insult and spit on others who can't defend themselves.
This is what wimps do.
They attack the weak.
Al Del Vecchio
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