And Still more comments from and about Nice Guys...
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2004 00:51:28 -0500
From: gojodstergo@netscape.net
Subject: nice guys
Six months ago I would have read this and would have been pissed. Now I
think you are right on. If you are a nice guy PAY ATTENTION to the
article. There is nothing nice about nice guys. I should know I am a
"nice guy". Maybe it would have helped if some one told your readers how
one becomes a nice guy. This is not for sympathy , I don't want it ,
sympathy is for victims I can't allow myself to be a victim anymore. I
grew up with a mother who was narcissistic as hell , she was also
violent if we did not do every thing just perfect she would explode and
beat us , kick us whip us and once tried to burn us alive in our house .
I learned that being the perfect kid made her happy , the only problem
is no one is perfect , so I learned to hide my mistakes , my emotions
and I never grew up to be my own person. My father was , you guessed it,
a nice guy. He never protected us and buried himself in his work .
mother used to to tell me that all men are pigs bastards ass holes and I
thought I would never want to be one of those guys. My grade one teacher
was a grumpy old bitch who would beat me with rulers yardsticks or
rubber belts just because I had a hard time sitting. I have ADHD and
this was 1969 when they thought I was just being a brat. The male
teachers were no better as two of them at different grade levels picked
me up and smashed my head against the wall. I couldn't tell anyone this
because I would get beat at home if mom found out. I learned that if I
wanted the terror to end I had to be the nice guy and do every thin for
everybody else and nothing for myself. So what is wrong with a "nice
guy"? we are expert at hiding who we are , we are always are looking for
someone to fix , we do nice things because we have learned that is safe
and people like us. We really aren't nice in fact we do hate women , I'm
not sure all women but our mothers and our girlfriends and our wives we
hate Why? Because we are programmed to do things for women to make them
love us and when they don't reciprocate the way we want we get resent
full. we don't know what love is because we have never seen it. We are
ashamed of who we are because our parents love only came if we were
somebody else (the perfect kid). Do you know what the worst thing is ?
My son is turning out just like me. There is no fucking way I am going
to allow him to be like me . IT ENDS HERE. If any nice guys are reading
this , or any women who are married to a nice guy please read No More
Mr. Nice Guy by DR. Robert Glover , found here
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/104-3611868-9625505
By the way the world has a lot more than just jerks and nice guys there
are good men out there too.
Signed - A recovering nice guy,
Jody
From: "Philip Caballero" caba47@hotmail.com
Subject: Nice guy Syndrome
Date: Sun, 11 Jan 2004 05:34:28 +0000
Hello,
Was reading your nice guy articles, jesus you girls are heartless.
Anyway, liked the stuff. I cant undersatnd why there are so many guys
whinging about women, just get on with life and let it unfold.
I had problems in the past and realised that i was a whinging fool. Now
i stand tall and proud and basically just be myself. I the way i see it
is everyone has one life (obvious thing to say , i know), so just live
it and take everything in your stride. Cheers,
Proud Scotsman.
Philip Caballero
From: "Lee Marsh"
Subject: Success story
Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2004 05:03:14 -0600
Thought I'd share a few success stories with you, that were inspired by your
site.
I've had a few girlfriends before, and it never seemed to work out, and
I could never figure out why. For a long time, I was into that self pitying
bullshit, and although I was starting to break out of that when I first
found your site, reading through some of the articles was just the kick in
the arse that I needed. What I had failed to realize in the past was that I
was falling into the 'nice guy' cliché. Although I was taken back by alot of
your commentary on that shady figure, it made me realize just how
desperately I needed to change. And change I did. Needless to say, things
with me are better now.
But better yet, my friend. One night he was telling me about some of the
girl troubles he was having, so I sent him a link to your site. To this day,
that is known between us as the 'hyperlink that saved his ass'. Before
reading your site, he was being a spineless 'nice guy' with his girlfriend,
and she sure didn't appreciate that. After reading the site, they were able
to develop into a healthy, happy relationship. Yay!
Well, just thought you would like to know, that there are people out
there that know, not think, you're doing the world a service.
<=============>
--Rich
From: Mark mspraker62@adelphia.net
Subject: What a cool site!
Date: Sun, 4 Jan 2004 14:51:10 -0500
I am a 42yr old male, separated for 9 months now and just getting back in
to the dating scene again. I found your site whist looking for some
information on "rescuer" syndrome and on being a "nice guy". I've only
taken a cursory look thru your site at this point but it appears to have a
lot of good information. Thanks.
PS - I have a job, 2 kids, hobbies, friends and have been on several dinner
dates. I finally met someone that I was really attracted to and wanted to
better understand myself and the feelings I was having. I am not so blind
as to think that I don't have some issues and your site appears to have
what I need to grow or at least be aware of some things I may be doing
without realization. Bookmark?..oh yeah!
Thanks again,
Mark
Date: Fri, 19 Dec 2003 22:27:34
From: Jeff Smith grey_leader@yahoo.com
I was reading the nice guy article, and while I really
wanted to disagree at first, there were a few things
that hit too close to home. Thanks, I actually found
it rather informative, and pretty much hit the problem
dead on. It was good to see it from that point of
view. later
From: "jen" nikstad@earthlink.net
Date: Fri, 12 Dec 2003
I just read "Geoff's" comments and while my response will do him no
good, because there isn't a clue by four big enough, maybe some guy will
read this and become enlightened. (ever the optimist)
I'm a tall girl (5' 9") and while I won't refuse to date someone shorter
than myself, it seems that there is a fair percentage of vertically
challenged men that suffer from "short man syndrome". You've met them...
they have zero body fat, can bench press a truck, want to prove they are
a "real" man on a daily basis. They want to protect us, even when
there's nothing to protect us from, and while trying to prove that their
height isn't an issue make it glaringly obvious that it's the only
issue. They tend to be possessive, controlling and manipulative. This is
the turnoff-- not the actual height. Women who run into in often enough
will eventually maintain a minimum height requirement to avoid these
men, and then the problem is the "shallowness of women" not the
attitudes of the men.
So guys, macho isn't attractive or necessary. And
if you happen to have short man syndrome and have been in a string of
bad relationships, think about the kind of woman that would buy what
you're advertising. The women worth having will just keep walking.
Jen N.
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