The latest comments from and about Nice Guys...
Date: Mon, 8 Aug 2005 14:11 -0400
Subject: Male Flame form : Neanderthal Man
From: noodle21@hotmail.com
COMMENTS: I read your article on "10 Reasons women (who aren't heartless
bitches!) date jerks instead of nice guys I found it interesting,
humorous, disturbing, and somewhat true. I showed it to my mom and asked
for an honest opinion (she laughed at #10). "It's all sarcasm, it's not
serious," she said. "Don't bullshit me mom." "I'm not, this is humor."
"But they've got 20 pages devoted to this topic." Well it is humor, and
a wee bit exaggerated, but I thought there was some real points in
there. She said "Rubbish; people have too much time on their hands." I
started discussing some of the points I thought beared an erie
resemblance to my experience with women. She chalked the articles and
behaviors up as immaturity and disrespect, which have nothing to do with
love. I agree with that on a moral level. However, she is a 55 year old
woman and a lifelong devout Catholic, i.e. she actually has morals and
she was raised before feminism took it's grip on the U.S.. What I have
learned from your website is that guys should have fun being assholes so
women can have guilt-free fun being a heartless bitch.
I currently do
not embrace my inner asshole, in fact I wrestle with it a lot; to me
that's a sign of inner strength, but people don't SEE that. In
comparison, the jerk projects strength and independence, an gives the
impression of being an alpha male.
Perhaps women would rather date a
strong asshole instead of feeling guilty for ripping into a man to
reveal his inner strength (or lack thereof.)
So what if a nice, decent,
good-looking, middle-class guy with lots of ambition, a good job, and
tons of talent actually likes you and treats you with respect? Is that
too boring and unchallenging?
Is he weak for wanting a relationship with you?
P.S. My dad is still an asshole to her. Mostly he just playfully picks on her for being fat (she's not, considering she's 55 and had 3 kids)
From: "Andrew Gasson" <agas0541@bigpond.net.au>
Subject: Thankyou HBI among others for showing me the light!
Date: Thu, 18 Aug 2005 11:25:38 +1000
Yes I am a man, of which I'm sure is one of many
that have visited here. Yours is one among a series of "nice guys are morons"
type sites that I have visited. Yes I had this pathetic disease, and a victim
mentality, and looking back how pathetic is that. I used to want the supermodel
type who appeared to be a victim and needed saving.
One day I woke up and thought, Andy no wonder
you're not finding anyone your acting like a complete tosspot.
All nice guys suffer from having a lack of their
own life - or that is what they convey to other women. When infact they probably
have shitloads of stuff they enjoy, but are too pathetic to share it, with
the fear a woman will loose interest in him
Anyways after reading your's and other
sites, I looked at myself and thought - grow up be yourself hit those
pubs and hunt for a woman who could drink me under the table, or argue with me
if I act the tit among other things. And yup a year after changing into me
(the real me) - yes I'm a beer swillin yob, yes I do love computers and
techno music etc., I've had no problem finding women - and not of
the victim variety either - chicks who would kick your whinning ass to the
curb if you even tried it!
Thanks for a great read, awsome
work
Andy
Australia
Date: Thu, 25 Aug 2005 02:52:19 -0700 (PDT)
From: Anthony <mc_slice@yahoo.com>
Subject: A "Nice Guy" Comes Clean
Nice guys suck.... I've read this many times on many
websites
The first time I read how nice guys suck, I was
infuriated. This was my first major step into breaking
my nice guy ways. The road to recovery is long, but I
know I'm headed in the right direction
In the anger of self-realization, my testicles finally
descended and I decided to do something about my
miserable life. As a nice guy, I was miserable... I
was always bitching about how girls don't like "nice
guys." I was the "caring friend" to lots of women, yet
I couldn't score with any of them. I was lonely,
depressed, and waiting for "the one" to come along and
save me. Don't we all wish life could be like the
movies? I hope not (most movies suck anyway,
especially ROMANTIC COMEDIES; yuck)
There's something about manipulative jerks that people
don't like. The nice guy is a master at being a
manipulative jerk. He's had years of practice honing
his skills. He practices his misogyny, anger, and
hatred under the guise of "niceness." He seems so
passive, but in truth, he has built up many years of
rage, hurt, and guilt
And just like a balloon... POP!
The "nice guy" ends up lashing out at people he
shouldn't be lashing out at. People that actually give
a shit about him. Nice guys are masters at sabotaging
their own relationships. The once "nice guy" may end
up physically or verbally abusing those they love. In
essence, you can't contain years of anger and expect
it not to surface once in a while. I have hurt people
in such a fashion..
Sometimes the nice guy posts on a website about how
much he hates women when the only thing he should be
angry about is his own behavior
Let's get this straight. The nice guy isn't a
fundamentally bad person per se. He's just really
mixed up. Deep inside his psyche, the nice guy
believes he is a truly bad and evil person, not worthy
of being loved by anyone (I thank my loving parents
for this - but hey, my relationship with them is
pretty solid now - no parent ever had an instruction
manual on how to be the perfect parent). This was the
insecurity that caused me years of misery and grief. I
believed by being "a good boy," I would receive the
love and attention I deserved. But the years of
disappointment and frustration fed the fundamental
belief that I was "bad."
Today I don't think I'm bad. I don't think I'm good
either. I can be an asshole. I can be kind. It depends
on my mood
I'm just me. In all of my imperfect glory. I am a
complex person. I don't always do the right thing. I
don't always do the wrong thing. I am human
Sure, I got insecurities about myself. I just don't
dump them on my date (who then is subsequently creeped
out or turned off). I share them with safe, trusted
people that I've known for a long time. When they need
to unload some shit, I'm there for them. For once, I
owe them something instead of them owing something to
me. Friendships aren't a one-way street, in case you
haven't heard. People get freaked out when you push
all of your insecurites on the table before they get
to see the positive side of you. I used to think if
you were "completely honest" about yourself, the girl
would fall in love with you because you appear
"sensitive." In truth, you just appear weak. Women
don't want a weak guy they have to support
emotioinally. They've got their own problems to deal
with, just like everybody else in the world
I am grateful to have had the privilege to earn a
Bachelor's in Psychology (amazing considering all the
drug and alcohol abuse I did because of my nice guy
ways). One important thing I've learned is that
however long it takes for you to get as screwed up as
you are, the same amount of time is required to undo
the damage
So that means for me, a VERY LONG TIME
Since I want a POSITIVE relationship with a
significant other, I've decided not to pursue love as
a remedy to my "issues" anymore. That means I've
decided to stay single. I've held to that decision for
over a year. I can't stand any more disappointment and
hurt on my behalf. I'm not scared. One day I'll
finally get it. As for now..
I get to do really great things for myself so I feel
important. I get to build my career and secure myself
instead of covertly chasing tail under the charade of
"niceness" all of the time. I get to face myself and
practice self-acceptance instead of trying to win
someone else's approval. I can face up to people and
not get stomped on all of the time. I get to smoke
cigarettes and celebrate my developing emphysema
without somebody constantly nagging me about it. I get
to go out and party with my friends and get sloshed
when I want to. I get to act bad and good. I get to
freely express my ADD and go off on tangents all of
the time. I am a selfish person, and I'm loving every
second of taking care of my own wants and needs. It's
nice to be able to stare in the mirror and not hate
yourself
So, Nice Guys of the world..
Schedule some fucking therapy sessions for yourself!!!!
Date: Tue, 13 Sep 2005 20:01:01 +0900
From: Joshua M
Subject: Why Nice Guys Clog up the Internet
A friend of mine -- who most certainly is a 'nice guy' in the process
of reforming his backwards view towards life and women -- created a
wildly successful webpage which even made Newsweek. As a result, I
found myself on a forum filled with 'nice guys' who made the regular
complaints about women and there was nary a sane voice in the bunch Fortunately, a sane woman, who has my praise and adoration, posted a
link to your rants against 'nice guys' and hopefully will make a dent
on the sad strange group of misogynistic men with yellow fever who
frequent the site in question.
Well, the articles probably won't make an impact, but one can hope.
And it got me to thinking, for all the people I know in real life, very
few are 'nice guys,' let alone to the degree that seem to swarm around
on the internet posting nonsense opinions and other uninformed drivel "So why the Hell do they all frequent the internet" thunked yours
truly. Clearly there's the element of creating a 'respectable' persona
that everyone can, well, pretend to respect. As if they aren't total
woman-hating losers off the internet. But I think that the most
significant reason is that non 'nice guys' tend to have a lot less to
say about women. Typically because they have them.
It's really sad. When you see comments about women on the board in
question, they seem to consist of 'OMG my gurlfriend is so HAWT!' with
other equally vaccuous praise, or it tends to be comments about how the
person who has the 'HAWT' girlfriend is so lucky, because all women
ignore them and they are sick of all the assholes getting the HAWT
women.
The irony of course being that the guy with the girlfriend can't be an
asshole, because he's a nice enough guy on the internet, and pays
attention to the 'nice guy' in question.
Those of us who tend to be a little better balanced -- or at least not
stupid to announce our insecurities and little 'peckadillos' (as Robin
Williams put it in Good Will Hunting) in public -- sit there and watch
the train wreck progress, or throw ourselves in front of a steaming
locomotive and get run over, only to learn from it.
So in short, I respect your quest to enlighten the poor deluded masses
who have no concept of personal responsibility, or cause and effect. I
feel, however, that a human chain of common sense cannot stop the
locomotive of low self-confidence and raging hormones. If you do find a
solution -- preferrably in some form of aersol dispenser -- please
allow me to test it out. I would be infinitely appreciative.
- Joshua "OMG you f'ing prick" M.
From: "Dan *" <daniel_jc@hotmail.com>
Subject: Comments: mostly on labelling and procrastination
Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2005 13:04:39 +1000
To be honest, I'm bored, and procrastinating...I just linked a friend to
a Something Positive comment that I got off your site, and thought I'd
waste some more time by sending you an email. Not that sending you an
email's a waste of time of course...just...you know..
In any case, one of my friends linked my to your site
after trying to explain why she didn't like nice guys. I must admit,
when she first said that she didn't like nice guys, it kind of raised my
hackles, as I'm sure it would any guy - hell, I consider myself a nice
guy! (as apposed to a "nice guy"). Obviously I'm not one to consider
myself an asshole...as who would label themself as something with such a
connotation, unless it was in an ironic kinda way
(*coughheartlessbitchcough*). But yes, after reading one or two rants,
I've got to say that I agree with you guys, although probably not for
the same reasons. From a guy's point of view, I don't care if a mate's
insecure in a relationship, because it's not my problem to be honest.
But I do think it's stupid when they try to make friends with someone
they're interested in, hiding behind a safe facade, rather than
expressing their interest. Or when they complain that said friend has
another new boyfriend that they don't approve of for various superflous
reasons...The way I figure it, life's pretty short, so why bother acting
(or not) on insecurities. Everyone has them - just supress them like the
psychologically healthy individuals the rest of us are ;)
So...now whenever I talk to someone who looks to be heading down that
kind of track (today someone asked me "when you're in love...when's the
right time to try and hold their hand" - my response - "the first date")
I link them to you. Saves a lot of heartache in the long run, I'm sure.
Dan
| 
