Only One in 10...

(Nov 5, 2007)

by C AK

This is my response to a personals ad on Craigslist from a cheating jerk...

Re: Only 1 in 10 should respond - are you number 1 -47 - 38

Date: 2007-11-02, 8:20AM EDT

(Hey girls...check out this winner..."I'm Mr. Nice/Sensitive/Misundertood Married Guy" *gag*)

Okay, so I admit that I have posted before and gotten very mixed responses.

(Really -- I'd have thought you'd just get negative ones.)

I was honest before and believe that if anything is going to work, especially online, honesty and openness is the number 1 thing. So here goes... Okay I am married.

(*gasp* Really?! You're married? *gasp* I'm assuming, then, since you're "open and honest," you've been "honest and open" with your wife about posting on CL for an affair?)

Still here? (Only out of morbid curiosity.)

Bet many just clicked back. (I was just betting that VERY same thing!)

It is a poor relationship but at this point, I have no plans to leave until my kids are grown. (My hero!)

Actually, in my mind, only a married woman will have the best understanding

(Nah...we all get it. But a married woman will serve your interests more. She'd be less likely to want to mess with your happy home life.)

Or a woman that was in an unfulfilling relationship. Yes, yes, yes, if something happened and we did fall truly, madly deeply, I would leave. Swear.

(For me? *bats eyelashes* You'd do that for me? *sigh* And my reward would be a man who posts for a girlfriend on Craig's List when the going gets tough. Be still my heart! Are you kidding me? Mr. Sensitive Nice guy...You can't even keep your word to your WIFE; the mother of your children! What in the world would make me think you'd keep ANY promise to me? What a joke.)

Selfish? Yea (yeah), my kids are first (Not really, Dreamboat. If your kids came first, you wouldn't be on here looking for a bootie call.)

I don't just want sex - really. (Really?)

Still here? (Still curious)

No, i want to get to know someone here for a bit. (But I already know everything I need to know about you just by reading your post.)

Will I flirt with you? Yep - Like a dog chasing its tail. Harmless. If our relationship gets there, we both can decide. I hate to say it but friends first I hate that phrase.

(Nauseates me too. Especially coming from a guy who's looking to have an affair.)

Must be willing to invest at least 5 minutes a day in getting to know each other.

(See: "Already know everything I need to know about you.")

Still here? (Can't tear myself away.)

Good. So many women send three word responses. (You mean like this one: Are you high?)

I am not looking for epic emails, but something to know you are alive and still interested. If not, just say so...I won't stalk ya, swear.

(Thank goodness, because I'd make so much noise about that to the cops, your wife would surely find out -- and that stalking situation would just work itself out naturally -- which is another reason why you need a married/in a relationship girl -- she'd be less likely to put up a fuss.)

This seems pretty simple to me. (I'm with you there. It's very simple.)

I am not a weirdo, stalker, predator or axe murderer

(but you are willing to lie to and cheat on you're wife, and you haven't got the cojones to leave her, even though the relationship, is -- by your own admission -- "poor." That does put you into a category of "Types of Men Women with An IQ Above Room Temperature Wish to Avoid" -- right along side weirdos, stalkers, predators, and axe murders.)

But I am lonely, open, and caring. (about who?)

Apparently these are qualities that scare people here

(No they don't. They're extremely desirable qualities. Every woman wants a man just like that. However, men looking for bootie under the guise of "friends first" and then swear to leave their wives if the bootie call is enough to their liking-- but have the audacity and are deluded enough to label themselves as "open and caring" aren't seeing themselves for what they really are. THAT scares people).

Go figure. (Go figure.)

I don't have a crystal ball and cannot predict the future

(I do. Mine says: "If things improve with the marriage, or if for any reason you are unsatisfied with the way things are shaking out, the "friends first bootie call" will be SOL, and you'll go slither back to what's left of your marriage.")

Lets chat a bit if you’re interested, and we'll see okay? (*snort* sure)

I will respond to all inquiries... (Okay, ladies...The line forms behind me!)

Location: On The Phone With Your Wife
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Forward this ARTICLE to someone who needs to answer the CLUE PHONE

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