Name: Rachel

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
There are soo many different sorts of complete dickheads out there, I don't know where to start.

[Is this about them or about you?]

The wankers who say things like 'I like your tits', well I give them a detailed response, involving a machede, their balls, and attaching them to their chest with staples and see how they feel!!!

[You don't think you're overreacting?]

One Liner:
Kneeing perverted men (make that BOYS!!) in the balls!!! They deserve every fucken thing they get!!

[Why? Just for telling you they like your tits?]

Name: lisaluvs2

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I was only 17 at the time. In order to dance, I had to go to work south of the border in Mexico.

[I can tell that something totally stupid is to follow.]

It took me awhile to get my courage up but I got up on stage in a club off Revolución. That how I found out I loved being up on stage, in the spotlight, the center of attention, totally nude!!

[And, wow! That TOTALLY makes you Heartless Bitch material.]

Strip clubs in TJ are alot more fun and crazier than here in the US.

[I've heard the same things about their prisons.]

I had to learn fast how to defend myself from drunk American guys as they tried to climb up on my platform. Kicked them in the head with my stiletto heel because the macho bouncers were too busy trying to fuck the other dancers. A jealous Mexican girl tried to stab me once because her stupid boyfriend was staring at me.

[But isn't that what guys DO with strippers?]

One Liner:
"I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." - Mark Twain

[And it WAS an ordeal, I assure you. *Sigh*, Strip whores.]

Name: Stacy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have been crushed by a "Heartless Bitch". Why do women have to be so cruel? Answer: Because men made them that way. That ok, because we are all about to die. Stacy (SecretDestoyer).

[I think I need a decoder ring to make sense of this.]

One Liner:
"Be careful what U ask for, U just might get it." M.

[Case in point. Who the fuck is M? And if any of you smart-asses write me and say anything about Moneypenny....]

Name: Princess A

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
For once because I say so.

[I wonder what happens on the other occasions.]

I know I am because I take muscular self confident men and turn them into groveling cock whores.

[You don't think that's a solitary incident? No, many men feel no shame in grovelling, pleading, whining or (fake) crying if getting some ass is at the end of it.]

You may think i'm some idiot trying to get a reaction but that is the complete opposite of what I want from this.

[This is known as a satellite. Think of them as a signal that the speaker knows that they are not honest about what they are saying.]

My boys know ME and that I can push their buttons and their limits and make them BEG Me for more!!!

[More what?]

One Liner:
I love making men eat ramen noodles and water because I take his last dime. I say... why spend mine when I can TAKE and then SPEND yours?

[You know, there's nothing wrong with how you earn(?) a living. Don't involve us in it.]

Name: Jennie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a total fucking bitch.

[Well, that MUST be true.]

I fuck with men, I use them and then dump them HAHAHA. If I could compare myself to another bitch I'd say I was Katherine from Cruel Intentions.

[Ew. She was hot for her brother, wasn't she? Oh, it was her STEP-brother.]

I know what I want and how to get it. I am sick of people telling me what I should be doing! I do what the fuck I want!

[Oh, and it shows.]

I go into chat rooms and pay out on all those sad fucks that hang out in there all day. I am fully fucking evil. Vote for me.

[Right. I care about your chat room antics.]

One Liner:
I am not A bitch, I am THE bitch, and thats MISS bitch to you!

[This is the best material you have?]

Name: Katrina

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I COME FROM ABUSIVE ROOTS, BUT I AM NOT A VICTIM. I AM A SURVIVOR.

[Good on you. Let's see what you do with it.]

I HATE THE TERM "INNER CHILD" OR "LIFE-VICTIM". I AM SICK OF WEAK LITTLE WOMEN STARVING FOR SOME PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL "RELATIONSHIP" TO MAKE THEM FEEL "NEEDED" AND "ACCEPTED BY SOCIETY". OH, GAWD, JUST PULL MY FINGERNAILS OUT WITH BAMBOO PLYERS, WILL YA??

[I loathe that shit, too.]

I AM, MARRIED(TWENTY LOOOONG YEARS, THANK YOU.) I DON'T "NEED" HIM. I DON'T EVEN "LIKE" HIM MOST OF THE TIME.

[You've lost me. Why are you with him if you don't even LIKE him most of the time?]

BUT, HE KNOWS WHERE HIS BED AND BOWL ARE.(IN THE CORNER BY THE DOG'S)AND HE WILL NOT USUALLY PUSH THE POINT TO COME INTO MY DOMAIN.

[You realize that you're still trapped in your cycle, only instead of being abused, you've become abusive yourself.]

AwHEN HE DOES, I JUST TUG AT HIS LEASH AND SMACK HIM ON HIS WET LIL NOSE AND HE WHIMPERS BACK TO HIS SAD LIL BLANKEY AND TATTERED TEDDY BEAR.

[No wonder you don't like him. He's weak.]

I RAISED A DAMNED FINE SON(WHO IS EIGHTEEN YEARS AT PRESENT.)

[Eighteen years what? From parole?]

I TRIED TO MAKE HIM MORE "FEMAILE" AWARE. NO, I DON'T MEAN MAKE HIM GET "IN TOUCH WITH HIS FEMININE SIDE". I JUST WANT HIM TO BE MORE SENSITIVE TO FEMALE WAYS...AND MORE LIKELY TO BE A BETTER MAN THEN THE ONE MY MOTHER IN LAW BUILT FROM A KIT.

[That man your mom-in-law built landed YOU, didn't he? I'd have to say that any man that your son turned out to be is also because of his father. You didn't raise him alone.]

I HAVE REALIZED IN MY SOON TO BE FORTY YEARS ON THIS GREAT BIG PLANET, THAT IT DOESN'T TAKE ACTING STUPID, FLAUNTING MY INCREDIBLE CLEAVAGE, OR CLINGING TO SOME "ASSHOLE" TO MAKE IT. IT TAKES FORTITUDE, LONGSUFFERING, AND AN INNER-ESTEEM MANY WILL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE THEY ARE RUTTED IN THE OTHER MIRE.

[I don't think that long suffering is needed, actually.]

I HAVE BEEN LIBERATED FOR A WHILE...AND BY LIBERATED I MEAN "FREE" OF ALL THINGS"WEAK". I DON'T CARE IF SOMEONE THINKS I AM TOO OPINIONATED, OBNOXIOUS, OR OUTSPOKEN.

[I don't mind being opinionated, or outspoken. I don't really mind obnoxious from certain sources, but I *do* mind it when the opinions are trite or sloppy. I'd rather you keep it to yourself if it's going to be something stupid or cliche. There is nothing to be proud about saying nothing at the top of your lungs.]

I WEAR IT LIKE A PROUD BADGE. IT IS A FLAG THAT HAS YEARS OF MY SWEAT AND BLOOD ENGRAINED INTO THE FABRIC OF WHO I AM AND WHO I AM BECOMING.

[Tedious. You've become tedious.]

One Liner:
THE ONLY OPINION THAT CARRIES ANY WEIGHT WITH ME IS THE ONE I HAVE AT ANY GIVEN TIME ABOUT ANY GIVEN MANNER.

[That's probably why. Your brain pan has rusted.]

[Finally, a public response to Vagina-Envy Eddie:

Yes, if you continue to present yourself as an ignoramus, we will continue to heartlessly let you know that you are being quite stupid.

You had fair warning.

What did you think would happen to you when you wrote to "Heartless Bitches?" Did you think we'd embrace your freakishness with open arms? No. You had many strikes against you, and NONE OF WHICH WERE YOUR GENDER.

1) You have a problem with basic comprehension of what you read.
2) You have some sick fetishes.
3) You have consistently proven yourself to be a simpering, utter bore.
4) You have no idea what Heartless Bitches is about, and somehow you seem to think that it means that we're going to abuse you for YOUR pleasure. Any abuse you receive, or perceive as such, is solely for the pleasure of the writer, ME.

By all means, DON'T return. Your threat to stop reading our site is amazingly low on my list of concerns.

Furthermore, you should know that I refuse to allow you whiners, wankers, and malcontents to absorb any of my precious personal time. I will not respond privately to any of your requests. Should you feel compelled to write me, rest assured that if I respond, it will be in this forum.

However, if you are serious about not wanting to be ridiculed publicly anymore, I suggest that you resist the impulse to write us in the future. I can't guarantee that you will be interesting enough to use in my column, but I can guarantee that you will be promptly ignored.]