Name: Tim

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I've noticed that most people are clones that don't like themselves.

[Or clones that don't know they're clones and assume other people are clones because they don't like a particular musician or director OR themselves.]

I missed the boat on the whole tattoo craze? I thought they were for sailors and bikers? No labels for me!

[You don't need a tattoo to label yourself... or other people, apparently.]

One Liner:
I don't like John Mayer and I refuse to conform & see "Avatar".

[WHATTA REBEL! Someone find him a pleather jacket and a copy of The Outsiders!]

Country: United States

Name: semnae

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
of that magical night when I realized that I could easily kill without breaking a single nail. 

[And we're off to the races.]

I have always been the soft-spoken wallflower, my lips constantly stretched into a taut smile, never speaking a harsh word about anyone or anything. 

[This reads like really bad fiction.]

I tried to be my best, never demanding, always there as a shoulder or a cookie maker.

[Granny?  'Zat you?]

The night my homicidal rage became a being all unto itself was when my guy friend, on ofttimes needy hypochondriac, began knocking on my door at nine pm.

[What an unreasonable hour!  You've already taken out your teeth, slathered on Ben Gay,  and called it a day.]

The pounding continued on till well past midnight.

[Three straight hours.  I figure you held out that long because the battery in your hearing aid needed changing.  Seriously, why would you let that shit go on for three fucking hours?  Gilligan and the crew would have been back to the marina by then.  You nuts deserve each other.]

I would have called the cops, but instead I decided to take matters into my own hands. I invited my uninvited guest into the house.

[Offering him cookies and warm milk.]

He babbled about how he was having a panic attack and didn't know where else to go and how I was the most reliable and dependable thing in his life. I told him to leave. 

[Something that should have been brought to his attention at 9 pm.]

He replied that he needed to relax for a few moments before he could drive safely; he then proceeded to sit on my couch without prompting. In my spot.

[How rude.  Couldn't he see that ass-shaped divot?  The worn spots?  Notice the ass-aroma surrounding the threadbare seat?]   

I snapped. 27 years of pent up rage came pouring out of my mouth.

[Sure, take it out on the mentally-ill dude.  Like it's HIS fault you let him bang on the door for 3 hours.  Like it's his fault you willfully ate shit all those years.]

I felt as though my eyes were becoming pitch black. I don't remember what I said that night, I just remember the feeling of channeling some primal ass-kicking goddess.

[And you sounded like this, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  You channeled some pathetic foot-stamping child. Goddess you are not.]

I dug deep into my psyche,

[You saying your psyche is deep is like a dude saying his 3" cock is the cuntslayer.  It just ain't.]

remembering each and every time I wanted to explode at some degradation and I spewed it out. It was transcending. 

[Transcend THIS!]

I was called a cold heartless bitch as he ran for the apartment door. Later I received an email stating that I was the cruelest, most calloused creature to ever exist.
To this day, those words still makes me smile. 

[Wait.  Wait, wait, WAIT.  I call shenanigans.  There is NO FUCKING WAY I'd tolerate some idiot banging on your door if I were your neighbor.  FOR THREE HOURS?  Oh, hell no.  If you were too lazy/coked-out/stupid to do anything about it, rest assured, a neighbor will.  We gotta fucking work in the morning.  I totally don't believe this bullshit happened in an apartment.]

One Liner:
If you don't step back in 5 seconds, I will run you over.

Name: Amberlyn

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I had to tell a male friend of mine "Your penis is like a vagina to me, I will never go near it.

[But... presumably, you have a vagina. You own one. You bring it with you wherever you... you know what? Don't worry your pointy little head about it.]

I love dick, but not yours!" It still makes me laugh to this very day =)

[As long as someone's laughing, I guess. Plenty of fish in the sea, right?]

One Liner:
Unless you're dying in the next few days, GET OVER IT! Your world is not going to implode. If you are going to die you better complete that bucket list!

[Good advice! Hop to! Scoot scoot scoot!]

Country: United States

Name: ricki

im a bitch beacause i do what i want to do and let no fucking loser stop me.To me if you have never been in trouble with the law your not a bitch.

[Oddly enough, we don't have "criminal record" on our checklist...]

Me and my bitches are the spotlight of the dame party and we dont get mad we get even.

[Yeah. Right. Sure. *yawn*]

the baddest thing i've ever done is push a girl in the pool at a party because i didnt like her hair.

[Shallow. Crass. Immature. Tasteless. But "bad" or "heartless"?  Hell no.]

Bitch,i take being called a bitch as a compliment.

[One you don't deserve.]

Plus one time i was going to a party and this girl had the "nicki minaj" hairstyle you kno with the pink shit at the bottom of her hair.and i got some scissors and cut the pink out,pushed her to mae her look back,threw the dame pink hair in her face and said"bitch you're not nicki minaj so get oveer it hun,ok".So thats what makes me a heartless bitch. xoxo ricki

[What is it with you and hair?  Who CARES what anyone else's hair looks like?  BTW - this paragraphs screams "stay in school".  And this time, focus on the school part.]

One Liner:
Im a bitch thats the truth step to me ill show your ass the got dame proof. (made it up on the spot)

[I have NO idea what this means.]

Name: Lisa

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a Heartless Bitch because I do not subscribe to the subservient female B/S that permeates society.I feel that us women are more than subjugated sexual objects born to please the male.

[Damned right.]

That men are the weaker of the species and need to be on leashes.

[That's not fair... it's MUCH easier to get a leash around a penis than a vagina!]

And further more I really don't give a flying fuck if I make a man feel like he is insignificant because in all intents and purposes he is.

[What did the bad men do to you, anyway?]

One Liner:
I wasn't born to be your slave,primate!

[Um... it takes one to know one.]

Go dry hump that tree you disgusting pervert! No! You go to the kitchen and make your own dinner I'm busy!

[Well, which one is it, humping or cooking? Is the leash long enough for either? Moreover, is it long enough to wrap around your neck and properly hang yourself by? Are you sure?]

Country: United States

Name: Melissa

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't care about anyone but myself and I will cause drama just to have something to do or something to talk about.

[Bored and boring; you don't have your own life, so you poke your nose into others'.]

I can't keep my mouth shut so none of my friends ever have any secrets when I'm around.

[Just because they have to sit next to you doesn't mean they're your friends. They just don't want to talk to you because you're an asshole who fucks with them and never shuts up. Are you really so deluded?]

One Liner:
I'm a Heartless Bitch and theres nothing you can do about it.

[Well, not nothing; welcome to the WOTW!]

Country: United States

Name: Hortense

Password: 314159

[This'll be easy as pie. </nerd>]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
It's a free country, and that means I say what I mean and I'm mean when I say it.

[No wonder freedom of speech gets a bad rap.]

And if you don't like the cut of my bustle, you're blind, 'cause it's quite a bustle!

[I'm... I'm sure it is? I didn't even know anyone outside of cosplayers and ren faires still wore bustles. I mean... I guess it's cheaper than ass implants.]

Men? I rack 'em and stack em.

[And a bustle does make a handy shelf. Do they make them with hidden compartments, too??]

If they can actually take a joke, I go out with them, which doesn't mean there'll be wedding bells any time soon. I actually like men, but I call utter dickheads dickheads when they're unaware they're being one.

[Those aren't wedding bells - that's the clue phone ringing for you.]

One Liner:
Dorothy Parker was too nice!!

[Dorothy Parker was a suicidal alcoholic. NEXT.]

Country: United States

Name: Heather

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
because I want bad things to happen to people who piss me off... like trip on a curb and break their fucking necks....and i really wouldn't give two shits about it.

[People, always wanting things they don't give a shit about. It's adorable.]

One Liner:
I'm a bitch and always will be I will give you attitude when its needed and I love causing you trouble.....back the fuck up back the fuck off

[Dude, YOU came to US.]

Country: United States

Name: Tiffany

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I just don't give a damn. I'm not into romantic films or love songs. I don't believe in Valentine's Day.

["I agree with what you already have on the site!" Yeah, blah blah blah, you're a fuckin' trailblazer.]

I'm not a shoulder to cry on, and if you have a problem don't come to me. I'll tell ya how it is, and won't sugar coat it. If the truth hurts, I'm torture.

[Yeah, you not believing in Valentine's Day is BLOWING MY MIND!!!]

"Pretty, pretty please, with a cherry on top", doesn't work for me. I am going to do what I want, when I want, and not ask for opinions. If offend you, good! I'm not here for anyone's pleasure.

[My opinion: this app sucks, and wasn't so much unpleasant as it was lame and unoriginal.]

One Liner:
I not only say that I'm a heartless bitch, I play the part too.

[Pretending can be fun, can't it?]

Country: United States

Name: michelle

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i stand to my own opinion and i don't give a damn of what people think about me!!

[Which is why you applied here, of course.]

One Liner:
i'm the one who manipulate, not the one to be manipulated!!

[So punting you's cool, then. It's not like you give a damn.]

Country: Philippines

Name: lily

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch: 

[Nothing here, so let me guess... you're hungry, hungry?]

One Liner:
The Hippopotamuses head "psychopath"

[You know if you lose all your marbles, you lose the game, right?]

Country: United Kingdom

Name: Melissa

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm sick and tired of putting up with the cliche

[Oh, irony, do you never get old?]

and boring bull-shit that goes on in this hick town that I live in. So, instead of telling Nancy NoBrains that lives next door that her barf-yellow sweater is "omg!! It's like to diiieeee foorr" , I let her know how I really feel about it- " It's looks nasty, like you couldn't get a cat piss stain out of it."

[This is the most cliche reason we receive.  "Look at me, I'm such a heartless bitch that I'm cruel to my friends for no fucking reason at all." ]

I'm not going to sugar coat it, and it seems to disappoint people that I'm that honest.Oh well, not my fault the truth is just as ugly as that barf- yellow sweater I was mentioning.

[Being honest isn't the same thing as being a boorish, self-centered shithead.  When you figure that out, come back.]

One Liner:
"I'm a bitch? Haha! Honey, I knew that waaayyy before you did." "If you're going to act like a cunt, you might as well get the sex change to be one"

Name: courtney

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i was made that way

[It's not MY fault.  The devil made me do it.  TAKE FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY.]

with years of dealing with complete and total stupidity and i have absolutely no patience for men or there bullshit games nor the pathetic way women are portrayed in society today.

[Oh no, you're just a piece of fluff in the lint screen.  Things just happen TO you.  Poor thing.  Nothing is ever your own doing.]

One Liner:
I'm a cruel heartless bitch and i enjoy every second of it!

[So long as someone else is paying the responsibility tab.]

Name: sammi

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
haters always be like: "you is a BITCH!" and I be like: "YAEH so WUT!?" nobody tells me wut to do cuz IM ME and YOU AINT!

[Right on, Cartman!]

One Liner:
dont get in my way cuz ima bitch

[No, you're a moron.]

Country: United States

Name: Vicki

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have been known to hurt those I hate.

[Oh my.  Better call Supernanny.]

Those people have suffered vehicular damage (from the inside),

[I wonder what the drivers do while you are throwing these temper tantrums?  Hopefully, they are wishing they had ejector seats while they toss you out.]

been locked in basements and closets, had knives pulled on them, had their windows broken with plastic baseball bats,among other things.

[Didn't I see you on Maury's "Out of Control Teens" or something?]

One Liner:
It builds until I feel like letting it all out.

Name: Chelsea

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Im a heartless bitch because I just dont fucking take shit from anyone.

[This'll be a change for you then.]

I am a business woman and a cutthroat one at that.

[Cutthroat businesswomen know how to use apostrophes.]

I have all my own shit and dont depend on anyone for that things that I have. I have two boyfriends and they both do anything I say on top of showing me with affection and gifts.

[I bet that's because that's the only thing that'll shut you up. Who exactly do you think is getting used here?]

I dont give a fuck about feelings and think all that mushy gushy shit should be kept inside cuz I dont wanna fucking deal with it.

[But you don't mind all the affection and gifts. Emotions are for poor people!]

Idiot drivers piss me off and so do idiot people I mean is it really that fucking hard to use a blinker?

[Is it really that fucking big of a deal, or are you just a miscreant who needs to find things to bitch about to make life seems a little less pointless and hollow?]

I lay around naked and if people dont fucking like it then they can get the fuck out of my house.

[No one likes parking themselves in someone else's pubic hair. Well, not involuntarily, anyway. At least put down one of those ass-gaskets they have in public toilets.]

Im not above telling a guy he knocked me up to get half the $500 for an abortion but really just spend it on clothes.

[Pointless. Hollow.]

If i have an issue with any kind of company that has a customer service number I rip them to shreds and always get what I want usually for cheaper at that.

[And I win the bet. Customer service people who get treated like shit by people like you don't give a fuck about your tirades; it's cheaper just to get you off the phone and help out the people who aren't trying to suck up all the oxygen in the room. Perspective!]

One Liner:
If you cant afford an abortion you probably shouldnt be having that fucking kid - Chelsea [actual last name]

[If you can't afford to buy your own clothes, Ms. Cutthroat, you shouldn't be having so many fake pregnancies, or using your real name to talk about them in public. Abort? Retry? FAIL.]

Country: United States

Name: Kelli

I've just been called a cold heartless bitch all my life, not because I am rude or obnoxious, but simply because I am independant, opinionated, stand up for what I believe and easily cut people out of my life if they exhibit behaviors that I consider to be equal to that of an asshole!!

[On the right track so far, but what about those greater than or equal to an asshole? What is the street value of an asshole these days?]

My husband convinced himself that I was cheating on him,

[Sure, because any misconception or misunderstanding that happens in a marriage is the other person's fault.]

decided he needed to be separated for a bit.

[Can't say I blame him.]

Since I did not violate my marriage to him like he thinks, yet he is convinced that I did, he will now feel what real pain is like when I do really cheat on him!!

[So instead of trying to fix your marriage, you're going to fuck it up further. Sure, he "convinced himself." If this shit's true, he didn't even know that he was right! Someone get the man a psychic hotline!]

I am not bitter at all about it,

[Of course you aren't.]

but he does need to be taught a lesson!!

[Those who can't, teach.]

I am too intelligent and educated to allow anyone to take advantage of me or me feelings.

[No, you just try to beat them to the punch, apparently.]

Cosmo was never my magazine of choice, instead I read DIY home improvement and decorating because I don't need a man or anyone else to hang my kitchen curtains, paint my bathroom, etc....If I don't know how to do something, I will go to all lenghts to teach it to myself rather than rely on someone else.

[OK... first? Learn how to spell, or at the very least to spell check. Second, I hope you have a degree in social work, because that's more pressing than your fucking curtains. Heal thyself; we're fuckin' busy.]

Can stand listening to women whine about their men or their "Baby's Daddy", I got knocked up at 20, still managed to finish my education, and raise my son to a brilliant successful 20 year old, by myself!! If I want something bad enough, I will do whatever it takes to get it.

[So, QED, you don't want your marriage, or you want revenge more than a healthy marriage. Shame to put all that time in the School Of Hard Knocks to shame.]

One Liner:
Don't play games with bitches who know how to play them better. I'll never look to intentionally hurt someone who doesn't deserve it,

[Except by cheating on your husband in a marriage you don't give a fuck about. No one gets hurt there.]

but you can't bullshit a bullshitter. I can "play" with the best of them!

[No, you can't. I can smell it from here, and so can everyone else. Run along now, and don't forget to take your stank-ass ball home.]

Country: United States

Name: SEVILLE

[Capitalization is hard! Let's go ranting!]

MY X DIDNT WANT TO HELP WITH THE KIDS IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, BECAUSE I SPLIT UP WITH HIM.

[Were they his kids?]

HE TOLD MY LAWYER THAT 600$ FOR THE YEAR WOULD BE ENOUGH TO COVER TWO KIDS!

[How old are the kids?]

HE NOW PAY'S 1160 A MTH AND CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO LIVE ON HIS OWN, CAN'T DRIVE, TRAVEL NOT MUCH HE CAN DO

[Except pay your bills? Let's see how long that lasts.]

VNOT TO MENTION THAT NO GIRL WILL TOUCH HIM BECAUSE HE HAS "STDS"

[Oh, those pesky quotes. So vague, yet so disingenuous. You know that submitting this information publicly is basically evidence against you for a child support case, right?]

HMMM PAY BACKS A BITCH =)

[You don't seem to mind as long as it works in your favor.]

REALLY LOOKS LIKE THE 200$ I ASKED FOR MIGHT HAVE BIN EZYER THEN THE END RESULT! ASSHOLE!! I WIN

[I thought this was about the kids. What'd YOU win? An undeserved sense of entitlement? A piggybank you're going to drain faster than it can be replenished? Lame revenge by telling people your ex has crotch rot? New shoes?]

One Liner:
DON'T FUCK WITH ME CUZ U LOSE ALL!

[Or did you just want public bragging rights? Well, here ya go! For the sake of your kids, hope your lawyer doesn't see this dumb shit.]

Country: Canada

Name: Simon

Password: biopsy

[... ew.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
rge grass is always greener, and I am always looking over the fence.

[The grass is always greener because you're too busy peeping into other people's lawns. It's not like you're at a lack for FERTILIZER.]

One Liner:
Innocent and alluring while planning the next date with the next women

[I have to wonder if any of those plans ever worked out for you. Wait--no, I don't.]

Country: United Kingdom

Name: Ari

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
OH! I'm sorry.... Were u waiting 4 an explanation?!

[That's the whole fucking point of applying, dumbass.]

One Liner:
I don't know what your problem is but I bet is hard to pronounce

[Yours is much easier, and we have many names for it. Lazy. Phoned-in. Lame. Were you expecting something different?]

Country: Costa Rica

Name: Brenda

Password: jpdaniels4

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am tired for being a doormat...

[Not surprising.  Being a doormat is tiring.]

it is time for me to grow up and take my proper place... i was married to an abuser for 25 years...

[Holy SHIT!  If you got married hot out of the womb, you'd be 25.  It is LONG past time for you to grow up.  Damn.  Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK!!!  NOW you want to grow up?  Now.  NOW?]

and now i am free...

[I am still trying to get over your wanting to grow up after 25 years of marriage.  Holy fucking Christ.]

One Liner:
Men are toys and should be played with and discarded when i get a new one...

[Dammit.  Just when I thought you meant that growing up shit.]